This midweek saw John Terry captain England to a 1-0 win over Sweden, their first win against the Swedes since the 60’s, courtesy of an own goal by a particular bombscare well known to fans of Scottish Football, Dan “not the man” Majstorovic.
There was some debate as to whether JT would be captain due to the current accusations of racism against him, and the subsequent police and FC investigation into them. It had been suggested by lip-reading TV viewers that Terry had called Anton Ferdinand “a black c*nt”.
What popped into my head when hearing this? Were it the case, then he’d have a fecking cheek to call anyone a c*nt with his record!
This is a guy who has cheated on his (muppet) wife how many times? The allegations over the nature of his relationship with Wayne Bridge’s ex, Vanessa Perroncel, were enough to see Bridge refuse to go to the World Cup and Capello decide to strip Terry of the England captaincy. Granted, Ms Perroncel herself was alleged to have enjoyed the company of more Chelsea players than the Player of the Month trophy. Arguably, at one stage she may have been the Player of the Month trophy. (After this scandal, Sepp Blatter later said to Terry, “in Latin countries this sort of thing would be applauded”.) Terry’s dear old mum, even when he was one of the best paid players in the premiership, accepted a police caution for shoplifting cat food, and his brother Paul when playing for Rushden and Diamonds had an affair with team-mate Dale Robert’s wife. Dale later tragically committed suicide. As for Terry’s dad? He pleaded guilty to dealing cocaine to an undercover reporter in a wine bar.
In my opinion he’s a c*nt, from a family of c*nts. Whether he’s a racist one remains to be seen though, with the two investigations still ongoing.
What Terry has said is that if he did use the words in question, it was only to clarify that he hadn’t previously used the words in question. He’s also pointed out that he’s captain of one of the most multi-cultural clubs in the Premiership. Unfortunate memories of Ron Atkinson’s argument when he said that he couldn’t be racist as he signed 3 of the first black players in the English Top flight, back in his West Brom days. The nickname given to these 3 players? “The Three Degrees”, after the black female soul-singing trio. A leap of logic similar to five white players signing for a club where the manager and rest of the playing staff are black…and immediately becoming known as ‘Girls Aloud’. Still, at least West Brom themselves didn’t go along with this cringingly racially insensitive tag.
Oh.
Terry’s problems increased this weekend with a 1-2 home loss to Liverpool, (where both teams ironically warmed up with “kick it out” anti racism t shirts) heaping more pressure on his young boss AVB. The defeat came to a Liverpool side featuring their own talismanic alleged-racist, Luis Suarez. Last winter saw a ban on players wearing snoods at certain Premiership clubs. If the current spate of allegations of racial abuse keeps up, perhaps the FA will have to look into banning white hoods. Of the pointed variety. “He blazed that cross” could very well take on a whole new meaning.
Suarez was charged by the FA last week with racially abusing Partice Evra. Brighton manager Gus Poyet was quick to jump to the defence of his fellow Uruguayan, and basically, from my reading of it, said that it’s ok as everyone in Uruguay uses whatever word Suarez may have called Evra.
“Luis is not a racist. We use different words and it is a different situation.”
“You cannot accuse people without a proper investigation, especially when it’s a foreigner who is coming from a different place where we treat people of colour in a different way.
And my personal favourite “You are not racist when you go against one, but you are if you go against the whole world of different colour and nationalities. That is being racist, not saying one word in one moment.”
Ask anyone with the nationality “Ghanaian” their thoughts on Luis Suarez! Or indeed anyone from Africa who were all behind Ghana that infamous night when Suarez did his best Buffon impression and ultimately ended African interest in that tournament at the same stage Cameroon and Senegal had crashed out in previous tournaments! You went against a whole nation that night Luis!
England is not the only country currently embroiled in a race row, in Portugal recently, Braga’s tricky Brazillian winger Alan came out and said that Benfica’s Javi Garcia had called him black. Surprisingly, this drew the following quote from the Mozambique-born, Portugal and Benfica legend, Eusebio.
“He said that Javi Garcia called him ‘black.’ So what is he then? If they’d have called him white, then he could have been offended. Many times [when I was playing] they called me that and much more besides. If I’d have reacted, I would never have finished a game.”
Sepp Blatter dived straight into the controversy by saying that Ferdinand, Evra and Alan should – rather than complain about their abusers – have run over and shaken their hand, possibly throwing in some thanks for their comments!
Blatter, of course, has previous for gaffes. When asked about homosexual fans possibly being jailed in Qatar if travelling to WC 2022, he replied, “I would say they should refrain from any sexual activities.” And also, in 2004, suggested that women should “play in tighter shorts” to attract publicity for women’s football. Perhaps not the spokesperson on racism, sexism, and homophobia that the world game is crying out for.
The English FA and media have been up in arms demanding Blatter’s resignation, and are clearly still raging over the awarding of the next two World Cups to Russia and Oman. The latter award goes to show that Sepp certainly can’t be a racist himself. Not after he’s done so much good work to help Qatari billionaires. We can only speculate on the nature of the handshakes involved there.
Racism clearly exists in football, on and off the pitch. What’s most worrying is the attitude that exists to it in the corridors of power.
Anyway, heres a clip of John Terry, falling on his c*nt….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vtdm3cuKCP4
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About the Author
Eddie Cassidy (eventually) started Stand Up Comedy in Aug 2009, after many years of threatening to, and since then has reached the Scottish Comedian of the Year final in 2010 less than 18 months after his first gig, and has since performed all over Scotland and parts of England including a gig to the out their nut audience at scotlands (2nd) biggest music festival Rockness.
A lifelong Celtic fan and former regular at Pollok Juniors Newlandsfield Ground, situated in the shadow of the high rises in his native Pollokshaws in Glasgow (where he once witnessed a sub knock out a fan in a penguin costume while warming up), he is also a lover of all football and while Celtic will always be his true love, he views the rest of the football world as a copy of nuts magazine, something to look at and enjoy with no emotional attachment! A keen fan of the Premiership, European and International Football he has developed crushes on Parma (around 1994) Dortmund (around 1997) Croatia (1998) Valencia (2001) Ghana (2006) Brentford Town (2009) and still looks out for their results, and like any other football fan currently loves watchin the greatest team of all time, Barcelona. He also has a love hate relationship with Arsenal, however has recently been casting admiring glances at Spurs.
Eddie’s achievements in football include a u15′s medal from the goals 5 a side leagues with the legendary AC Pollokshaws, and once scored 19 goals when 21 years old playing against a bunch of children while drunk.
“Hilarious” The Skinny
“Very entertaining, a welcome high point” Chortle
“a future headliner, very impressive” Scottish Comedy Forum
Eddie is part of RNT Comedy, you can follow them on Twitter: @RNTComedy
Check out RNT Comedy’s website: http://rntcomedy.com/
