Iain Todd wants reconstruction reconstruction…

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Dear Scottish Football.

You don’t know me but I’ve been watching you for a long time… Sorry. That sounds a bit creepy. Let me start again.

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money… Sorry. That sounds a bit threatening. Let me start again.

GET YOUR F**ING ACT TOGETHER!

This week the SPL met and were unable to agree to Scottish football reconstruction. The only thing the chairmen could agree on was that they all hated St Mirren. Which makes them the most hated Saint since Jimmy Greaves found out his name wasn’t going to be listed first on his TV show.

So here are three points which can be implemented for next season that would bring more meaningful games and a more attractive TV proposition.

1. Keep the current league setup and promote how good it is as the SPL is an exciting league! Over the last decade the league has been decided on the last day of the season so often that it now has its own name – helicopter day.

2. Change relegation in the SPL to two sides. This creates more meaningful games in the bottom half of the league and makes it easier to refresh the league by bringing up two from the first division.

3. Change the rule in the TV contract that restricts clubs to only two home games per season being shown. What other product puts a restriction on their best wares? TV viewers should be able to see games such Celtic v Hearts or a Rangers v Aberdeen but they could not because the two home games for the Old Firm would be saved for Old Firm games.

So forget 12-12-18 or 8-8-8 and let’s get back to focusing on the only numbers that matter – the score!

Yours Faithfully

A fan.

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About the Author
Iain “Toddinho” Todd mistakenly believes he could have been a professional footballer if only the ‘The Claude Makelele role’ had been invented in the 1980’s. Unfortunately his ability to be neither a defender or a midfielder meant he could often be found on the bench. His greatest achievement was a match winning hat trick which the local paper reported as been scored by his twin brother and his brother wasn’t even playing that day. He recently celebrated 25 years of playing 5 aside footy and has nothing to show for it other than a dodgy hip.

Iain Todd graduated from Charlie Ross’s comedy class and has subsequently shown why Charlie should fail some students. He does open spots as one half of “The Brothers Todd” – the third best comedy twin act in the world! Only three comedy twin acts are in the world so they are also the world’s worst. They make Jedward look talented.

He stalks celebrities at @iainmacivertodd

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