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@iainmacivertodd
In a previous article I discussed Football Mascots. Today I bring you an interview with the Queens Park Mascot – Harry the Hoopo.
How long have you been mascot?
Five years I think. It was one of those ‘bucket list’ things but as there wasn’t a big queue for the job, I ended up doing it all the time. I wanted to help out at the club and the fact that this was a crazy job, suited me down to the ground.
I’ve probably got another year or two of my daughter thinking I’m a hero before she is old enough to realise I’m just a sad old man in a costume.
It was a Homer Simpson moment when I was asked to do it.
“Why don’t you go and talk it over with your family?”
“Because they might say no.”
What’s your matchday routine?
When I first arrive I check to see if there is a ‘child mascot’ and if so it’s photo time. Unless – as in 50% of cases – the kid is terrified of me in which case I go for a walk to see if there’s a ‘crowd’ yet.
I always speak to security first – especially if there are any new guys there.
Walking through the tunnel at half time and telling a new security guy that “I’m here to do the hippo” is asking for a tasering. Most of them know me by now but I’ve noticed that since Neil Lennon got that letterbomb (coincidence?) I’ve had a security minder to walk along behind me while I greet the crowd.
How hot is the suit and how much can you see out of it?
I see out of the nostrils but there’s limited vision.
It’s usually okay but when the sun is out it can get pretty hot. After a mascot race it’s pretty unbearable (I was practically fainting while I was getting my picture taken with you).
Which games do you look forward to mascoting?
Whatever anyone’s opinion is of Rangers is, they’ve certainly livened up the third division this season and with the ‘added entertainment’ at the half-time intervals, they would have been my personal favourites. I shook Charles Green’s hand at one point, though I tell everyone it was “hoof on hoof”.
As long as someone wants a high-five, it keeps me busy. It has been known for no-one to come down and say hello. Then they probably expect me to dance, but I usually just go and speak to one of the players on the bench.
What was your first game like?
I was introduced to the suit by the guy who originally had the job (and has since run to the hills – Hi Craig).
I was told I might be needed in the members lounge as there were some ‘special guests’. I was petrified, particularly as this was a match against Raith Rovers and I knew life-long fan Gordon Brown was in the area. Still don’t know if it was a wind up but it didn’t happen.
My main worry was that the head would fall off or worse that the shorts would fall down (still my biggest worry). The head I can deal with. The shorts – I wouldn’t know if they’d fallen down aside from the cries of “It must be a lady hippo”.
Do you have any mascot rivals?
The guys I’ve met have been great characters and the whole idea of the mascots is to present a ‘sporting aspect’ to proceedings so it’s always good-natured. No hatred or serious rivalry. Except in the mascot race of course where you’d step over your own grandmother to grab the glory.
The best mascot I’ve encountered would be the guy in the Irn Bru can who had us all in stitches with his crazy dances and walks. He made me look sane.
Queens Park are amateurs so if a big team came in and offered you a huge salary would you mascot for them?
On the Simpson’s the ‘Capital City Goofball’ mascot is a multi-millionaire so there must be big money out there but I’m Queens Park through and through so I can’t be bought. Do they have mascot scouts? There was a guy in a squirrel costume in the stands recently and I did wonder.
What’s the highlight of your mascot career?
Meeting a friend of mine who had no idea it was me in the costume. I kept going up to him and saying his name and reeling off stuff I knew about him. I waited a month before I told him it was me.
Other than that the mascot race shown on EPSN would be hard to top.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxbVqH2HSbE]
The worst time would be around Christmas a couple of years ago. I’d bought a big bag of sweets to give out to the kids as they came through the turnstiles. My act of playing Santa backfired spectacularly as one of the Raith Rovers youth teams arrived, grabbed the bag and legged it. I stood there helpless.
Do you think Queens Park will go up this year?
YES
As a comedy website – a couple of quick questions
Favorite joke?
The favourite joke I perform on the circuit as my alter-ego Fred Spanner is probably not repeatable on this website.
A more suitable one might be – I was playing a board game last week and accidentally swallowed one of the dice. It came out as a ‘number 2’.
Tim Vine’s – I told him I was the brother of River Phoenix. He said “you must be Joaquin” is a pretty good one.
Who do you prefer – Kevin Bridges/Billy Connolly?
I met Kevin just before he hit the big time when we were both on at The Stand in Edinburgh. Seemed a nice guy. Both are class acts. Hard to call but Billy would just edge it. Eddie Cassidy is heading in the right direction and is my tip for the top.
Queens Park are in the division 3 play off’s this season so check out http://www.queensparkfc.co.uk/and come along for a game!
You can download/listen/subscribe to the Scottish Comedy FC podcast HERE
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About the Author
Iain Todd graduated from Charlie Ross’s comedy class and has subsequently shown why Charlie should fail some students. He does open spots as one half of “The Brothers Todd” – the third best comedy twin act in the world! Only three comedy twin acts are in the world so they are also the world’s worst. They make Jedward look talented.
He stalks celebrities at @iainmacivertodd
