Andy Todd’s Jukebox Durie presents… Dancing in the streets of Wraith!

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In a recent poll George Osborne was named the least popular Chancellor of all time after he managed to attract less than 1% of all votes. While that may seem harsh, the winner of the poll was none other than Gordon Brown with more than 20%. To paraphrase Groucho Marx: I don’t think George Osborne will want to be in any poll where Gordon Brown is the winner. (Not unless that poll is to pick the man least likely to bring an end to ‘boom and bust’).

However, if I was to conduct a poll where George Osborne would win it would be to select someone to re-enact Felix Baumgartner’s Skydive from space but, this time, without a parachute…

George, you won’t be surprised to hear, is not a football fan, that’s why he supports Chelsea. And, at the Champions League Final in Munich, as well as John Terry, you can see the Chancellor celebrating with the team as they lift the trophy.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/georgeosborne/9279037/George-Osbornes-unforgettable-night-at-the-football.html

Making this the first and possibly only time that John Terry is not the most hated man in football stadium.

Gordon, on the other hand, supports Raith Rovers, one of only two alliterative clubs in Scotland (the other being Annan Athletic) [Editor’s note: Andy’s brother, Iain, has just mentioned Alloa Athletic…]. It was formed in 1883 and was named after a historic area that had encompassed parts of what are now Lochgelly and Kirkcaldy. Raith itself coming from the word rath meaning fortified residence. The battle of Raith is said to have been fought around what is now Kirkcaldy in 596AD, before being re-enacted in 1994 by Graeme Hogg and Craig Levein during Hearts’ visit for a pre-season friendly.

In 1921 the club became famous for doing something no other club had ever thought of doing: they started using a ball in training. Until 1921 no team practiced with a ball during the week as coaches thought it would make players more eager to play with it on a Saturday!

So, for almost 40 years, not playing with a football was considered to be better than playing with a football when training for… football. No wonder World War 1 lasted so long! Field Marshall Haig had every soldier training for the trenches by learning “How To Shoot Germans Using Your Fingers As A Pistol”. Luckily the world saw sense and proper training was introduced. As the history of Raith Rovers records, “Success soon followed”. But, clearly, it didn’t last very long…

This week’s song is a plug for The Sensational Alex Salmond Gastric Band’s new album ‘Wraith Rovers: The Undead 11’ as it contains the fantastic ‘When The Wraiths Go Marching In’ which should really be the song played when Raith Rover’s run on to the pitch.

Oh when the Wraith
(Oh when Wraith)
Go marching in
(Go marching in)
They look like rejects from Trainspotting!

Song: http://sasgb.bandcamp.com/track/when-the-wraith-go-marching-in

Album: http://sasgb.bandcamp.com/album/wraith-rovers-original-soundtrack

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About the Author
After too many years as season ticket holder at Parkhead, Andy Todd renounced the SPL three years ago to support Queens Park. One team is a rank bunch of amateurs who play in a state of the art stadium and the other is…(I think we can all see where this is going).

Andy has been performing comedy for 18 months but is currently ‘between gigs’ while he writes a book on Scottish property law to be published in Summer 2012. Its potential audience will be less than 300 but his mum will be very proud.

Follow Andy on Twitter: @toddandy

Check out Andy’s website: www.toddandy.com

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