To start this post I want you to initially open your mind and accept that the following headline may happen –
Carlos Tevez joins Dundee
You may scoff, but there was a time that may well have been a possibility. Still not convinced? Maybe if you look at this as an example. An Argentinean frontman, considered among the world’s finest players but with off-field baggage. Ladies and gents I give you Claudio Caniggia.
As it was pointed out to me recently that Terminator 2: Judgement Day is now older than most university students (released in 1991 for the curious among you who may now feel quite old), some of our younger readers may need a bit of background on this.
In the late 90’s Scottish football was in the midst of a bubble not too dissimilar to the property bubble that has just burst. In 1998 Sky TV bought exclusive rights to broadcast live Scottish SPL matches. For this they paid £11.25 million a season. This type of money had never been seen outside of the old firm in Scottish football before and provided some rather eager Chairmen with the idea that if they spent big on big name players it would increase the gates and may help them win some silverware.
Rangers and Celtic spent big in this period in Scottish football. Rangers particularly lavished the cash signing the likes of the Dutch internationals Arthur Numan and Giovanni van Bronckhorst. In 1998 they even signed a player who had just played in a World Cup winning squad that summer in Stéphane Guivarc’h. In fact, he actually played the first 66 minutes of France’s World Cup Final win over Brazil. Granted, managing this feat seemed to have drained him of his lifetime quota of luck as became apparent during his time in a Rangers jersey. Still, imagine a World Cup winning squad player signing for Rangers now – the chances of the club that couldn’t sign Goodwillie making a successful move for the likes of Fernando Llorente seem remote. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. The last time Rangers spent megabucks, Tore Andre Flo arrived for £12m.
For me, the most amazing example of the spending during this period came from Dundee. Rangers and Celtic could, at the time, justify their spending as there was regular European football and domestic revenue being generated. Dundee however, couldn’t. This didn’t stop them from signing the likes of Argentine legend Claudio Caniggia. It was certainly a strange time for the Dens men. Sports presenter Jim Delahunt probably never expected to have to spend an edition of STV’s ‘Scotsport Extra Time’ interviewing a prospective buyer of Dundee FC (Giovanni di Stefano) with questions such as (forgive the paraphrasing) “Are you now, or have you ever been, an associate of Željko Ražnatović, aka the Serbian warlord Arkan, currently wanted on war crimes charges?”
To put Claudio’s time at Dens Park into some perspective, this is a man who played for River Plate, Atalanta, Roma, Benfica, and Boca Juniors. He played 50 times for Argentina, playing alongside the hand of God himself, Maradona. He was known for his goalscoring and lightning pace, clocking a 10.7 sec time over 100 metres at junior level. He was also known for his long blonde hair and being the victim of one of football’s worst ever tackles when he was wiped out by the Cameroon defender Benjamin Massing. You can see the tackle below. Massing’s boot actually flies off he as hits Caniggia so hard.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KeRlJJbtdHc]
Caniggia wasn’t some Carlos Ham-an-egger or Rafael Scheidt (for younger readers only one of these names is made up), this was a genuine superstar of World football who had chosen to ply his trade in the City of Discovery. Presumably teen pregnancy and heroin were never mentioned in the signing talks. Though the aforementioned friendship with El Diego probably ruled out the possibility of Claudio declaring Dundee a hotbed of sin the likes of which he could never imagine.
Caniggia did have his own share of off-field issues. In the years prior to joining Dundee he had been banned for using cocaine and also spent time away from the game after the death of his mother. He was unattached when he joined Dundee. When he joined he said in interviews that it was his intention to get back into the Argentinean national side. People scoffed at the idea that the SPL was the place for him to achieve this… but having shone at Dundee and earned himself a move to Rangers, he did go on to win a place in the 2002 world cup squad. Again, ‘off-field issues’ was a key phrase. Caniggia received a red card for verbally abusing the referee from the subsitutes bench in Argentina’s match against Sweden.
In 2002 Sky and the SPL fell out. The SPL thought that they had a product worth more than the £45 million 4 year deal Sky had to offer. As it turned out though the SPL should have ripped Sky’s arm off for the deal. No other suitors emerged and the BBC eventually signed a late deal for just £6 million as season.
It took a while before teams really realised that the finances of the Scottish game had changed. There has been be a few other truly big name players in Scotland in the following years, but Henrik Larsson aside these have tended to be players who are just top class players rather proper superstars of the game. Dado Prso, Robbie Keane and Craig Bellamy spring to mind as being in this category.
You could argue that Celtic have had two superstars of the game among their ranks in recent years in Roy Keane and Freddie Ljungberg, but you could convincingly argue that these two were essentially spent forces be the time they pulled on the hoops.
Who knows, maybe the bubble will burst in the English Premier League and for the rest of the Europe’s big spenders and Scottish football might be able to start to compete again for the superstars? Until then we can only dream of seeing wee Tevez in the dark blue at Dens Park.
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About the Author
John started his comedy career back in 2008 after his wife signed him up for a comedy competition in the Sunday Mail, without his knowledge. He ended up winning it and going on to the final of So You Think You’re Funny. A year later he won Scottish Comedian of the year. He talks about his home life with his wife and 3 daughters mostly as there is very little else exciting that happens in his life.
He has followed Rangers all his life. As a 5 year old boy he spent his birthday money on his first Rangers strip complete with number 9 on the back. It was also around that time that he was taken to a barbers for a haircut and asked to get his hair done like Frank McAvennie. As he had short, brown, poker straight hair the barber struggled to recreate the long blonde permed look that McAvennie sported at the time. This is a tale that his mother likes to share from time to time.
He also distantly related to Rangers hall of fame member Willie Waddell. It is very distant, but its close enough that he likes to use this to make him look like a big man.
His football career took a nose dive in secondary school when he found out he was actually a better rugby player than footballer. Brief stints at 5 a sides in 20′s followed. Since a tragic accident in which he slipped and fell on some ice due to his insistance on wearing converse all stars, he broke his left leg. Since then he has been too much of a big Jessie to grace a pitch again.
“All the makings of a class act” – Chortle
“Brilliant” – Sunday Mail
“Hard hitting and side splitting” – Daily Record
“There’s a rosy future ahead for John Gavin” – Scotsman
“Very Impressive” – Edinburgh Evening News
Follow John on Twitter – @johngavincomedy
John’s website – www.johngavincomedy.com
