There’s always one, says John Gavin

Last week I wrote an article on Rangers owner Craig Whyte. In it there was the following passage:

“After the BBC programme, Whyte could have come out and said ‘this bit was true, this bit wasn’t, I’m going to raise legal action against them for the bits that were not true’. As it stands, his admission regarding the disqualification – over a month after the broadcast and after his threat of legal action – must lead even the most hardened of Rangers fans to feel that greater clarity and communication would be welcome.”

The article was picked up by a Rangers fan forum and while most of the comments were reasoned there was one that stood out. It read as follows –

“So because he was banned that automatically makes all the other allegations true? The sad thing is there are idiots out there loving this kind of stuff. I couldn’t care if our whyte was suddams right hand man, as long as he does what’s best for the club.”

Its fairly clearly stated that this is not what the article says at all. It has led me to think that there is always one among the group that will fail to see the point. Also, I am guessing that “suddam” is Saddam Hussein, but further clarification is needed on that one. Whilst the example provided here is fairly innocuous, you don’t have to look too far to find Rangers and Celtic fans who fail to see the point.

The most recent example is UEFA’s decision to fine Celtic for ‘illicit chanting’, thereby tarnishing their image as the ‘Greatest Fans in the World’ (copyright Celtic Football Club). Rangers of course have been subject to fines and supporter bans due to singing inappropriate songs during games. There is a hardcore of fans who fail to see what damage singing these songs are doing to reputation and bank balance of both clubs. It’s also worth noting that outside of the Old Firm sectarianism does exist. Its not just an Old Firm problem, although they are the worst culprits.

The SFA and Scottish Parliament have both taken action to try and remove this element from our game, but the task they face is akin to convincing my Gran to start listening to dubstep. Almost impossible. There are some who would argue that sectarianism is not as bad now as it used to be. This is a bit like saying Dale Winton is not on TV as much as he used to be. The fact of the matter is that he still on sometimes and quite frankly that’s too much.

At present the new laws being introduced seem to be unclear in what is and what is not permitted. This is something that no doubt lawyers will try to jump on when defending some of our modern day minstrels. The fact is though that at least the government has had a go at this. It’s something that has just been dismissed as part of our culture for too long. The majority of Old Firm fans would much rather get on with not liking each other for purely footballing reasons rather than it being related to what took place in Northern Ireland a long time ago.

What does puzzle me though is why this is being treated as a purely football related problem? There are other factors that need to be addressed when looking at the root cause of this. People don’t just suddenly wake up one morning and know all the words to numerous offensive (and now illegal) songs. They are exposed to it, sometimes from a ridiculously young age. An age when they don’t know any better and it seems like the norm. Things like separate schools based on religious faith also don’t really help to improve the situation. Blaming all of the issues regarding sectarianism in this country on football only tells half the story.

For most, the new laws should make them think twice before offering to serenade their rivals, for the foreseeable future though there is likely to always be that one who fails to see the point.

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About the Author

John started his comedy career back in 2008 after his wife signed him up for a comedy competition in the Sunday Mail, without his knowledge. He ended up winning it and going on to the final of So You Think You’re Funny. A year later he won Scottish Comedian of the year. He talks about his home life with his wife and 3 daughters mostly as there is very little else exciting that happens in his life.

He has followed Rangers all his life. As a 5 year old boy he spent his birthday money on his first Rangers strip complete with number 9 on the back. It was also around that time that he was taken to a barbers for a haircut and asked to get his hair done like Frank McAvennie. As he had short, brown, poker straight hair the barber struggled to recreate the long blonde permed look that McAvennie sported at the time. This is a tale that his mother likes to share from time to time.

He also distantly related to Rangers hall of fame member Willie Waddell. It is very distant, but its close enough that he likes to use this to make him look like a big man.

His football career took a nose dive in secondary school when he found out he was actually a better rugby player than footballer. Brief stints at 5 a sides in 20′s followed. Since a tragic accident in which he slipped and fell on some ice due to his insistance on wearing converse all stars, he broke his left leg. Since then he has been too much of a big Jessie to grace a pitch again.

“All the makings of a class act” – Chortle

“Brilliant” – Sunday Mail

“Hard hitting and side splitting” – Daily Record

“There’s a rosy future ahead for John Gavin” – Scotsman

“Very Impressive” – Edinburgh Evening News

Follow John on Twitter – @johngavincomedy

John’s website – www.johngavincomedy.com

I know this has been a long one, but thanks for reading.

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