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On the 9th of February I speculated about goings on at Rangers, suggesting that it could be all part of a Hollywood conspiracy. Three days later news of Rangers administration hit the headlines and what has transpired since has dismissed this conspiracy. Let’s be honest, who would honestly believe this plotline? It’s the equivalent of asking Megan Fox to play the lead role in a Susan Boyle biopic. Anyway, based on the allegations from the media, there would be no point in making a movie based on Rangers at the moment. Hollywood already made a film called ‘Rogue Trader’ and anyone who sat through that film would agree it’s not something you would want to do again. 
At the centre of the Rangers administration saga is Craig Whyte. It’s easy to go through the statements Whyte has made and draw conclusions. His latest statement though, was an absolute masterclass in contradictions. Even contradicting a statement he makes earlier in the very same statement. Based on the statements he has made since being linked with Rangers, it would suggest that you would be more likely to believe Luiz Suarez when he says “I’ll shake that guys hand”.
It’s also worth noting that in his statement he mentions being able to provide proof of funds to Lloyds TSB and Sir David Murray. The figure Whyte gives is £33 million. It would be interesting to see what this proof was. At present it appears as if this could have been a fag packet with ‘I’ve got £33 million’ written on it.
With each passing day the story seems to get worse. Although someone actually giving Rangers money for Matt McKay is a good omen. Hopefully this is the turning point. I mean who would actually think that someone would pay money for him. The movie probably won’t happen, but no doubt we will see more documentaries on what has gone on at Rangers of late. Hopefully to ease the pain it will be Megan Fox presenting them and not Susan Boyle.
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About the Author
John started his comedy career back in 2008 after his wife signed him up for a comedy competition in the Sunday Mail, without his knowledge. He ended up winning it and going on to the final of So You Think You’re Funny. A year later he won Scottish Comedian of the year. He talks about his home life with his wife and 3 daughters mostly as there is very little else exciting that happens in his life.
He has followed Rangers all his life. As a 5 year old boy he spent his birthday money on his first Rangers strip complete with number 9 on the back. It was also around that time that he was taken to a barbers for a haircut and asked to get his hair done like Frank McAvennie. As he had short, brown, poker straight hair the barber struggled to recreate the long blonde permed look that McAvennie sported at the time. This is a tale that his mother likes to share from time to time.
He also distantly related to Rangers hall of fame member Willie Waddell. It is very distant, but its close enough that he likes to use this to make him look like a big man.
His football career took a nose dive in secondary school when he found out he was actually a better rugby player than footballer. Brief stints at 5 a sides in 20′s followed. Since a tragic accident in which he slipped and fell on some ice due to his insistance on wearing converse all stars, he broke his left leg. Since then he has been too much of a big Jessie to grace a pitch again.
“All the makings of a class act” – Chortle
“Brilliant” – Sunday Mail
“Hard hitting and side splitting” – Daily Record
“There’s a rosy future ahead for John Gavin” – Scotsman
“Very Impressive” – Edinburgh Evening News
Follow John on Twitter – @johngavincomedy
John’s website – www.johngavincomedy.com
