Iain Todd is Under the Moon.

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The BBC apologised recently when footage from a wildlife documentary was revealed as fake. That is shocking! If you can’t rely on the BBC then who can you trust. I’m not sure whether I believe any BBC show now. I doubt whether Jool’s Hollands Hootenanny is actually recorded on Hogmanay.

Hogmanay should be spent drunk. You should overpay for food, booze and taxis. All for a night, everyone will agree, that only reached the giddy heights of “alright”. If you don’t go out then you are stuck watching the afore mentioned Jools or Jackie Bird looking like a recently divorced woman who has just discovered wine comes in boxes.

One Hogmanay year was different. The greatest football/sports phone-in program of all time was on and it was live from Glasgow. It was “Under the Moon”.

Under the Moon was a Channel 4 show that ran for two seasons in the late 90s. It started at a time most people were heading to bed and went on late into the night. Its main presenters were Danny kelly, a man with no previous TV experience, who has a remarkable resemblance to Penfold from Danger Mouse… and Tom Binns, a man fined 50k by radio authorities for a piece he did on bestiality.  Unfortunately the piece was for a breakfast radio show. At breakfast-time people don’t want to hear the tale of a man who loves sheep. Although people listen to Chris Moyles, a man who loves himself.

The show was a primarily a phone-in and feature program. Unfortunately most of the callers were drunk and most of the features were constrained by the show having no money. This was one of the few clips I could find.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FpuyYyv2Yo&w=420&h=315]
 
The highlight of the programme was the guests. They would often have famous footballers, some musicians and a TV star. Due to the lateness of the hour guests were often drunk which led to candid and very funny interviews.

This informality (drunkeness) reached a peak in the New Year Special. The show was going to come live from Ibrox stadium and the Guests were Ally “who doesnt do walking away” Mccoist,  Paul “who doesnt do walking due to his dodgy knees” Elliot and David “who thinks walking round a snooker table is a real sport” Vine.

Paul Elliot was appeared sozzled and slurred incomprehensibly throughout. David Vine walked out after Danny Kelly asked him “whether snooker had become less interesting now the players weren’t on Cocaine?” and Ally McCoist told scandalous stories about the Old Firm. I remember watching it and thinking a) how did this ever get broadcast and b) no-one will ever believe this happened. On that point no one will believe me because as hard as I’ve tried I can’t find any footage from it!

Instead of a video here is an indepth report on the series from the Guardian:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2008/apr/06/sportfeatures.television

After the show ended Danny Kelly did radio work and Tom Binns created one of the best comedy character acts I’ve seen. Check out “Ivan  Brackenbury”.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36a-jueRUBg&w=560&h=315]  

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About the Author
Iain “Toddinho” Todd mistakenly believes he could have been a professional footballer if only the ‘The Claude Makelele role’ had been invented in the 1980’s. Unfortunately his ability to be neither a defender or a midfielder meant he could often be found on the bench. His greatest achievement was a match winning hat trick which the local paper reported as been scored by his twin brother and his brother wasn’t even playing that day. He recently celebrated 25 years of playing 5 aside footy and has nothing to show for it other than a dodgy hip.

Iain Todd graduated from Charlie Ross’s comedy class and has subsequently shown why Charlie should fail some students. He does open spots as one half of “The Brothers Todd” – the third best comedy twin act in the world! Only three comedy twin acts are in the world so they are also the world’s worst. They make Jedward look talented.

He stalks celebrities at @iainmacivertodd

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