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Mention the Channel Island of Jersey and folk who were around in the 1980’s will think of the TV show Bergerac. This BBC Sunday institution was a detective show set on the island. Jim Bergerac would drive around in his sports car (although the island had a 15mph speed limit on most roads) down windy lanes (although his car was too big too get round the corners) investigating murders (although Jersey is one of the most crime free spots in the UK.) All in all it was utter tosh and I quite happily switched the TV off at the merest hint of its inane theme tune.
The TV show led to a rise in Tourism and for a while Jersey was the Ibiza of its day attracting a young party going crowd. One of the tourist brochures even advertised how great it was for partying as drinking and driving was possible due to the 15 MPH speed limit. Unfortunately the boom died off and the island now attracts a boring old fuddy duddy crowd and me.
Although the island still has its charms.
Other than searching for Miss L I spent a little time looking at the local Football scene.
Jersey has five senior leagues all overseen by the Jersey FA. Whilst researching this I found a feature http://www.jerseyfa.com/referees/ask-a-referee where you can ask the local ref anything you like. I asked him the best place to stay in jersey.
The current league champions are Jersey Scottish which just goes to show that Scottish teams can be succesful in Europe. I found nothing on the internet about the side. Which makes me assume they are extremely modest.
The Muratti is the annual men’s football competition, inaugurated in 1905, between the Channel Islands of Guernsey, Jersey and Alderney. It involves a semi-final in which Guernsey/Jersey take turns to play the smallest island Alderney. Alderney has not won a match since the 1920’s. If Craig Levein was in charge of them he would claim that it’s not about the losses but about the performance and the island should be proud that he has maintained a top 3 finish. As of 2012, there have been 96 Muratti Finals with Jersey winning 51 times, Guernsey 44 times. It’s such a two-horse race that supporters wants to change the name of the trophy to the SPL.
The most famous footballer to have come from the island is Graeme Le Saux. A left wing-back who pre-dated the existence of the term wing-back. He mostly played for Chelsea and at one point was the UK’s most expensive defender. Throughout his career their were rumours that he was Gay which he denied. Did this accusation come about because he enjoyed the company of men? No. He was caught reading “the Guardian” newspaper on the team bus. The lack of a page 3 model in the paper meant he must fancy men.
Also from the Channel Islands is Matt Le Tissier, having been born and brought up on Guernsey. A man so skillful he was given the nickname “Le God.” Take a look at some of his goals below. In his autobiography he revealed that he tried to bet on the time the first throw in would occur in a game. He would then knock the ball out at the appropriate moment. Although his team mates were unaware of this and one time they managed to prevent the ball going out. He said that was only time he ever ran during a game as he tried to tackle his own player to get the ball back.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtJeN96-6fw]
Quick Facts
- Jersey governs itself but has a “special relationship with the UK” which means that when the UK went to war with Iraq Jersey had a separate vote to see whether they agreed with it. The voted down the motion therefore the UK statute had to mention that the UK was at war but not Jersey.
- I didn’t spot a working class person or an ethnic minority in Jersey. The island is so white and middle class it should be called Daily Mail Island.
- The islands are closer to France than England so due to the lack of pollution and the good clean sea air it has a nice smell to it. It should be called the Chanel no.5 islands.
Lastly if you visit Jersey hoping for a stress free time be warned that it might be painful.
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About the Author
Iain “Toddinho” Todd mistakenly believes he could have been a professional footballer if only the ‘The Claude Makelele role’ had been invented in the 1980’s. Unfortunately his ability to be neither a defender or a midfielder meant he could often be found on the bench. His greatest achievement was a match winning hat trick which the local paper reported as been scored by his twin brother and his brother wasn’t even playing that day. He recently celebrated 25 years of playing 5 aside footy and has nothing to show for it other than a dodgy hip.
Iain Todd graduated from Charlie Ross’s comedy class and has subsequently shown why Charlie should fail some students. He does open spots as one half of “The Brothers Todd” – the third best comedy twin act in the world! Only three comedy twin acts are in the world so they are also the world’s worst. They make Jedward look talented.
He stalks celebrities at @iainmacivertodd
