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Jukebox Durie’s continued search for the best Scottish football songs has stumbled into another Division 3 deadend. While searching for club songs for Montrose all I could find were the following lyrics for the Montrose Song:
“It’s a grand old flag
Its a high flying flag
It’s the emblem for me and for you
It’s the emblem of the team we love
The team of the red and the blue
Every heart beats true
For the red and the blue
And we sing this song to you
WHAT DO WE SING
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
Keep your eye on the red and the blue”
A song so dull there doesn’t appear to be any video or audio link to it in the entire world-wide web. A web, remember, that contains millions of photos of what people had for their tea but cannot find time to upload a song by a football team with an average attendance of 286 – the lowest in Scottish football this season.
So in the absence of a proper song from Montrose, here’s a video by… Montrose, the not so classic rock band formed by Sammy Hagar before he joined the rather better known Van Halen.
Montrose are to hard rawking what knitting is to a hardcore heroin habit. They might both involve needles but apart from that they have no resemblance whatsoever. While most rock band have guitars, that’s as far as Montrose go to being a hard rocking band of badass mofos. Most bands would sing of motorbikes and Harley Davidsons, but no, not Montrose, instead they ‘rawk out’ while on their ‘Bad Motor Scooter’.
Did Lady Gaga sing Gin Rummy Face? Did Beyonce implore all the single ladies that if they like they should probably try living together for a wee bit to see how it works out? No.
So why sing about your badass scooter that you can’t even drive on a motorway because it 50cc engine stalls above 40mph? It’s pathetic, just like the Montrose fans who can’t even show their support on the web never mind turn up at the ground.
You know what to do though – if you know a Montrose fan or if you are a Montrose fan you can right this wrong and upload a song to the internet. Or if not a song, then at least a picture of the half-time pie.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tk52nGxF-jc&w=420&h=315]
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About the Author
After too many years as season ticket holder at Parkhead, Andy Todd renounced the SPL three years ago to support Queens Park. One team is a rank bunch of amateurs who play in a state of the art stadium and the other is…(I think we can all see where this is going).
Andy has been performing comedy for 18 months but is currently ‘between gigs’ while he writes a book on Scottish property law to be published in Summer 2012. Its potential audience will be less than 300 but his mum will be very proud.
Follow Andy on Twitter: @toddandy
Check out Andy’s website: www.toddandy.com
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