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Points deductions. Newco. Stripped titles. EBTs. Dual contracts. Blue Knights. Big tax cases. Wee tax cases. 3rd division or SPL. These are all terms that have been used so much over the past couple of months that it almost makes you wish you had taken a trademark out on them. At present the future of Rangers and Scottish football is about as uncertain as a relationship between cast members of Geordie Shore. Even the most casual observer can see that whatever the outcome there will be casualties along the way. The scale of casualty and the punishment due to be dished out though is still about as clear as the Greek governments tick book. Despite this it seems that everyone has an opinion and through various forms of media is happy to give it. This leads me to the general topic of this article. I’m really fed up of reading, watching and listening to opinions on Rangers current situation.
The amount of information that has been offered up regarding what has gone on at Rangers is staggering, but this pales in comparison to the amount of information offered on what might happen. It’s pretty easy to make comments based on what might happen. All you have to do is take whatever the worst case scenario is for a specific infringement and then run a story based on that thing happening. The problem with this is that there are so many confirmed and alleged infringements each with numerous doomsday scenarios it leaves followers of the situation making more guesses than someone playing cluedo.
On Thursday the 14th of June things went into overdrive. The CVA had been rejected and liquidation became a reality. To mark the occasion Newsnight had a half hour debate and STV ran with an hour long special on the goings on. By using the powers of Sky + I watched both shows back to back. An hour and a half of maybes, could haves, and should haves left me in need of simple and easy to understand. Something like the instruction manual for the Hadron collider would have been ideal.
The Newsnight debate featured various ‘experts’, among them investigative reporter Mark Daly. Given that he has made two documentaries on the situation at Rangers in recent times it would have been hoped that he may have some scoop or information to offer. All that really came from him though was that when left without a script he talks in the rhythm of a Speak n Spell.
STV’s show, ‘Rangers, The Downfall’ was an altogether different affair though. It started by giving a history lesson on Rangers. Almost as if they thought that anyone watching the show might have accidently thought they had tuned into the movie ‘Downfall’ based on Hitler’s final days. Said movie would have been a far more cheery affair. When it finally came time for the ‘experts’ to discuss what has gone on at Rangers they all seemed to have a look about them of people being held against their will, almost as if presenter John MacKay had gone around Glasgow city centre catching them with a big net.
Sky Sports News has covered the story at great length, although they have tended to just report on what has gone on. With their fascination in having roving reporters live on the scene its meant that some poor camera crew and reporter have had to stay camped outside Ibrox all day long. For anyone who’s spent anytime around the Govan/Ibrox you will know that the crew and reporter will be wishing that they had put in for that transfer to Sky News and report from a safer environment in somewhere like Syria or Afghanistan.
It’s story that has a lots more to offer and will no doubt throw up more shocks and surprises along the way. What would be nice though is if what gets reported is actually what has happened instead of the constant guess work and speculation. Reading and watching opinion being presented as fact is becoming very tiring. Whatever happens will happen. Tell us about it when it does.
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About the Author
John started his comedy career back in 2008 after his wife signed him up for a comedy competition in the Sunday Mail, without his knowledge. He ended up winning it and going on to the final of So You Think You’re Funny. A year later he won Scottish Comedian of the year. He talks about his home life with his wife and 3 daughters mostly as there is very little else exciting that happens in his life.
He has followed Rangers all his life. As a 5 year old boy he spent his birthday money on his first Rangers strip complete with number 9 on the back. It was also around that time that he was taken to a barbers for a haircut and asked to get his hair done like Frank McAvennie. As he had short, brown, poker straight hair the barber struggled to recreate the long blonde permed look that McAvennie sported at the time. This is a tale that his mother likes to share from time to time.
He also distantly related to Rangers hall of fame member Willie Waddell. It is very distant, but its close enough that he likes to use this to make him look like a big man.
His football career took a nose dive in secondary school when he found out he was actually a better rugby player than footballer. Brief stints at 5 a sides in 20′s followed. Since a tragic accident in which he slipped and fell on some ice due to his insistence on wearing converse all stars, he broke his left leg. Since then he has been too much of a big Jessie to grace a pitch again.
“All the makings of a class act” – Chortle
“Brilliant” – Sunday Mail
“Hard hitting and side splitting” – Daily Record
“There’s a rosy future ahead for John Gavin” – Scotsman
“Very Impressive” – Edinburgh Evening News
Follow John on Twitter – @johngavincomedy
John’s website – www.johngavincomedy.com
