Eddie Cassidy on the jumpiness surrounding the ‘Kangaroo Court’…

Remember that we also do the Scottish Comedy FC podcast. You can subscribe/download/listen HERE

The EBT saga at Rangers seems to be finally drawing to an end, with the FTT result expected (again) next month, and the SPL appointing a panel to look into allegations that Rangers players over the past 10 decades were improperly registered.

Rules state any payment made to a player must be registered with the SPL – whether this payment is made through an EBT, a brown paper bag, or is a bag full of ginger bottles is irrelevant.

This past week, Charles Green, Ally McCoist, and many a Rangers fan have complained about what they seem to perceive as the SPL’s Kangaroo Court, and a witch-hunt against Rangers. The main reason seems to be the involvement of lawyers firm, Harper McLeod, who once did some work for Celtic. This apparently causes the whole process to be a farce as they are “Celtic’s Lawyers”.

Now, one of the main issues raised by Green and former board member Alistair Johnston, seems to be that the SFA have been happy to turn a blind eye to these payments in the past, and indeed claimed that the SPL were happy to brush the issue under the carpet during negotiations with another bidder. Listening to certain fans, this proves there is an agenda against Rangers?! At no point have either came out and said “we are innocent of these allegations”. [Editor’s (Rangers fan) note: Ally McCoist and others have said the issue relates to ‘side contracts’, but that all EBT payments were in the club’s published accounts and the players only had one playing contract, no side ones. Not taking a stand on it, just clarifying what’s been said!]

The “nothing’s been done until now” defence is about as logical as Josef Fritzl saying in court “whats the problem? She’s been locked in that cellar for years and no-one has complained until now?”

We also have the SPL clearing Celtic for any wrongdoing over the use of an EBT to pay off Brazilian flop Juninho. Now, if no wrong doing has taken place, any claims against Celtic, Rangers, Dundee Utd or anyone else should be easy to prove. Player X was paid amount Y. Do we have a record of this contract on our files? If the answer is Yes, case closed, if answer is no, further investigation required. If this payment was a settlement of what was owed on his contact, and said contract was registered, all good.

Its been claimed the reason there is no case to answer against Celtic is that payment was made to pay off his contract after he left. Only person to have been quoted as saying this was the case? Eh, Ally McCoist. He has questioned why Celtic are not being asked to defend themselves against an independent panel. Again, as a defence, this is not exactly watertight, its like Harold Shipman appearing in court “Mr Shipman, you stand accused of 53 murders, do you have anything to say in your defence?” “I demand to know why the other doctor in my practice, who has no evidence of wrongdoing against him, is not also here in court?”

Now for argument’s sake, lets say that Harper McLeod are “Cetic’s Lawyers”. If so, what’s the problem? Who has lost the most if the allegations are true in terms of potential earnings through Champions League qualification? Celtic. Who has been denied title-winning parties if the allegations are true? Celtic fans. The SFA and SPL have until now been happy to turn a blind eye to the issue, so why shouldn’t Celtic and “their” lawyers demand an investigation, not a punishment, but an investigation into these allegations of rule breaking? If Peter Lawell has instructed them to collate evidence against Rangers, and then present it to the SPL saying, “I want answers to these questions”, and forced the SPL’s hand, why shouldn’t he as a chairman of an SPL club? Rangers have been given the chance to put a defence case forward, but have refused claiming this is not a fair process? In any case, there is a prosecution, a defence and a judge decides innocent/guilty, how is this not fair in this case? Whats the difference?

If I was married and my wife decided to divorce me, could i seriously say “the fact my wife has a lawyer arguing her case means this is a fundamentally unjust process, and clearly being driven by feminists with a deep-rooted hatred of men” without being called a fruitcake? I think not!

The other defence is that the SPL have no jurisdiction over Rangers. On this point, I agree with Green, the new rangers are not an SPL club, however the old Rangers, who won these titles, were, and they are, eh, SPL titles! It’s like Ben Johnson saying he cannot be stripped of his medal as the race is over now and he is no longer in Seoul and anyway the medals been punted to cash converters and the money spent on steroids.

As a Celtic fan, I’m not even sure i want the titles, the only difference would be in next year’s Wee Red Book a few details would be changed, its not like we could have a “Tardis Tuesday” and go back in time to relive the seasons in question. Though that would be a good laugh, so start looking out your old away tops now and checking the popular music of the time, Celtic fans!

You can download/listen/subscribe to the Scottish Comedy FC podcast HERE
———————————————————————————————————-
About the Author
Eddie Cassidy (eventually) started Stand Up Comedy in Aug 2009, after many years of threatening to, and since then has reached the Scottish Comedian of the Year final in 2010 less than 18 months after his first gig, and has since performed all over Scotland and parts of England including a gig to the out their nut audience at scotlands (2nd) biggest music festival Rockness.

A lifelong Celtic fan and former regular at Pollok Juniors Newlandsfield Ground, situated in the shadow of the high rises in his native Pollokshaws in Glasgow (where he once witnessed a sub knock out a fan in a penguin costume while warming up), he is also a lover of all football and while Celtic will always be his true love, he views the rest of the football world as a copy of nuts magazine, something to look at and enjoy with no emotional attachment! A keen fan of the Premiership, European and International Football he has developed crushes on Parma (around 1994) Dortmund (around 1997) Croatia (1998) Valencia (2001) Ghana (2006) Brentford Town (2009) and still looks out for their results, and like any other football fan currently loves watchin the greatest team of all time, Barcelona. He also has a love hate relationship with Arsenal, however has recently been casting admiring glances at Spurs.

Eddie’s achievements in football include a u15′s medal from the goals 5 a side leagues with the legendary AC Pollokshaws, and once scored 19 goals when 21 years old playing against a bunch of children while drunk.

“Hilarious” The Skinny

“Very entertaining, a welcome high point” Chortle

“a future headliner, very impressive” Scottish Comedy Forum

Comments

comments