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The simple answer to this question is none of the above, the greatest League in Europe (and now, apparently, central Asia) is the Champions League. It features all of the best teams, all of the best players [Except for the ones at Monaco… Ed.] and is the cup all players and managers undoubtedly want to win the most. So in this, the first of what I plan to be a regular feature, I’ll be looking at the Champions League draw for season 2013/14 and trying to predict who will successfully make it through to the last 16.
First up, Group H, which features Scotland’s representatives, Celtic, alongside Barcelona, AC Milan and Ajax. It’s a group that’s been called many things; the group of death, the group of Champions and the group of nobility. One thing is for certain though, the draw is as glamorous as Cheryl Cole and as hard as her tatoo artist when colouring in her roses. To be honest, before the draw I, like many other fans, hoped to meet some new teams who we (Celtic) haven’t played in recent years. Now the draw is out though, you just have to look forward to it and be happy we are in there. Imagine how much worse we would have felt had Karagandy drawn that group?
Their Europa League draw matches them up with AZ Alkmaar, PAOK Salonika and Maccabi Haifa… so it could be worse! The fact we are now “bored” of meeting Barcelona just shows how far the club has come since the 90s. In terms of our opportunities in the group, I reckon we have a chance of 3rd and Europa League football after Xmas. A level, to be honest, I think we are better suited to in the second half of the season. If nothing else, I’m sure we can all look forward to the “meeting of minds” that will occur when Scott Brown inevitably tries to wind up Balotelli and get him sent off. In fairness to Balotelli, he has found some form again in an Inter jersey, while linking up well with El Shaarawy. A strike partnership dubbed “the Pharoah and the F***wit”… in my house at least. I also believe that Neymar will struggle to get off the mark for Barca but suddenly rediscover his goalscoring form as soon as he plays against Celtic. Ajax have been significantly weakened from last season after selling their best players, so just like Celtic really!
Optimistic Prediction – Barcelona, Milan, Celtic, Ajax
Group A features Man United in what I reckon is a tougher group than many will think. I still feel that they should have just enough to top it though. In a section where every team is capable of taking points from another, I think it may finish in line with the seedings:
Prediction – Man Utd, Shakhtar Donetsk, Bayer Leverkusen, Real Sociedad
Group B is another I think should finish in line with the seedings, but which also has possibly the biggest tie of the group stage in Real Madrid v Juventus. Both sides should be greatly improved from last year, with Juventus a possible dark horse to go far in the tournament. They’ll be bolstered by their new signings of Tevez and Llorente, as well as by the emergence of Pogba in midfield. I have fond memories of this fixture and remember a great quarter or possibly semi-final dubbed “the battle of the wonderkids”. In that game, two massively talented teenagers met head to head. Those two players were Raul and Del Piero. Now I feel old!
Prediction – Real Madrid, Juventus, Galatasaray, Copenhagen
Group C could see the second seeds, PSG, topping the group. They certainly have the firepower to do so, but a lot depends on how the squad adapts to 27th choice manager Laurent Blanc’s leadership. Benfica should join them in last 16 with Olympiakos and Anderlecht battling it out for 3rd.
Prediction – PSG, Benfica, Anderlecht, Olympiakos
Group D sees the first 3rd seed that I fancy to make it to the last 16 – Man City. I think they’ll finish 2nd behind Bayern Munich. City may have a truly dire European record considering the money they have spent, but Pellegrini has a good pedigree in this tournament. Ive heard a few folk down south questioning City being 3rd seeds, but the answer is simple. They have been mince in Europe over the past 5 years.
Prediction – Munich, Man City, CSKA, Plzen
Group E should go with the seedings… Chelsea and Schalke to make the last 16 and the best team named after a herb to be in the Europa after Xmas.
Prediction – Chelsea, Schalke, Basel, Steaua Bucharest
Group F is perhaps the most upside-down of the groups, with last years defeated finalists, Dortmund, and fourth seeds Napoli my tips to progress. In my opinion, this is the real group of death as Arsenal are also well capable of qualifying and Marseille are looking good in the early stages of this season. Gignac, in particular, is showing great form for them (if you like European football, do yourself a favour and get BT Sport!). All teams can take points from each other and it will be very close between the 4 sides.
Prediction – Dortmund, Napoli, Arsenal, Marseille
Finally Group G, where I can see Athletico Madrid topping the group from Porto, with Zenit St Petersburg making it through to the Europa.
Prediction – Atletico Madrid, Porto, Zenit, Austria Vienna
So that’s it, we can now all sit back and look forward to another tournament of the worlds best battling it out as we listen to Zadok the Priest belt out pre match on Tuesday and Wednesday nights.
You can download/listen/subscribe to the Scottish Comedy FC podcast HERE
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About the Author
Eddie Cassidy (eventually) started Stand Up Comedy in Aug 2009, after many years of threatening to, and since then has reached the Scottish Comedian of the Year final in 2010 less than 18 months after his first gig, and has since performed all over Scotland and parts of England including a gig to the out their nut audience at scotlands (2nd) biggest music festival Rockness.
A lifelong Celtic fan and former regular at Pollok Juniors Newlandsfield Ground, situated in the shadow of the high rises in his native Pollokshaws in Glasgow (where he once witnessed a sub knock out a fan in a penguin costume while warming up), he is also a lover of all football and while Celtic will always be his true love, he views the rest of the football world as a copy of nuts magazine, something to look at and enjoy with no emotional attachment! A keen fan of the Premiership, European and International Football he has developed crushes on Parma (around 1994) Dortmund (around 1997) Croatia (1998) Valencia (2001) Ghana (2006) Brentford Town (2009) and still looks out for their results, and like any other football fan currently loves watchin the greatest team of all time, Barcelona. He also has a love hate relationship with Arsenal, however has recently been casting admiring glances at Spurs.
Eddie’s achievements in football include a u15′s medal from the goals 5 a side leagues with the legendary AC Pollokshaws, and once scored 19 goals when 21 years old playing against a bunch of children while drunk.
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