The Manager
However, since Jim Jefferies steadied the ship before his sudden dismissal, much more trust and free reign has been awarded to Sergio than most. His team selection has often frustrated fans, leaving out popular picks Andy Driver or John Sutton for long periods of time but he has also developed the talents of Ryan McGowan and Scott Robinson, arguably more than his predecessor. Overall, the jury is very much out on Sergio and it really isn’t his fault. He charmed the press and fans in his initial exchanges, he angered the SFA (and further charmed the fans)with his outburst, and he had started to deliver decent, if unspectacular, results before the most recent wage furore which has really made it impossible to label him a success or a failure. My guess is that he is renting not buying.
In Goals
Defence
Surprisingly, Hearts have the second best defence in the league, conceding the same amount of goals as Celtic. I say surprising because it really is made up of a bunch of misfits and average players from around the country. It’s a Mighty Ducks of a back four. Danny Grainger and Jamie Hamill have been regular picks at full back and Sergio hasn’t really had much room for manoeuvre. Like kids in an orphanage, he’s playing with someone else’s toys. Both were signed by Jefferies and I don’t imagine St.Johnstone’s and Kilmarnock’s pretty average full-backs were in Sergio’s dossier on his arrival from Portugal. Yet somehow, they have been part of a pretty successful defence.
The real find of the season defensively for Hearts has been Ryan McGowan. The young Aussie has bided his time for years and never before been given his opportunity. He has played along the back four this year and put in some impressive and fearless performances, including a Man of the Match display at Ibrox. All that and he rips the piss out of Hibs on twitter. What a guy. Oh, and somewhere (and we really don’t know where), there’s Darren Barr. He played for Scotland don’t you know.
Midfield
The middle of the park is easily Hearts’ most stocked area and probably the biggest contributor to a reported £9 million wage bill. Even with Eggert Jonsson transferring to Wolves, Andy Driver refusing to play (previously it was his legs) and Ryan Stevenson now looking to be on his on his way, there are still plenty of players for 4 or 5 jerseys. Out wide Medhi Taouil, David Templeton and Arvy Novikovas all vie for two spots. Taouil has added some much needed creativity and taken the onus off Templeton to produce magic every game. The magic trick we are all most worried being a disappearing act to Glasgow if he finds the form he is capable of.
The rest of the midfield then becomes a school register of names when it comes to depth. Scott Robinson, David Obua, Adrien Mrowiec, Ian Black, Rudi Skacel, as well as various out on loan make up the uneccessarily long list. The problem being that, in school terms, 8 doesn’t go into 4. There is a feeling that the Hearts midfield is often more quantity than quality and If the wage bill is to be halved in January then I think we are going to see some serious shaving from this part of the squad. Sergio’s main duo in the centre of the park has been the combination of Mrowiec and Black. They are both extremely combative, have all the will in the world but are about as creative as a giving a gift voucher at Christmas. When you look at Hearts’ struggle to find the net this season, you don’t have to look much further than these two. Neither have found the net this season and when you look at the goal tallies of other central midfielders in the league, it really shows the need for one less defensive minded in this pairing.
Then last, but not least ,there’s David Obua. On the negative side, he has had four years to prove his worth and mostly failed. He is slow, he doesn’t score enough goals, he comes across lethargic, he is poor in the tackle, he is disliked by a large number of fans and he doesn’t win as much in the air as he should. On the plus side he does have a bloody lovely smile. For the record, I like him but with his reported earnings he will soon also be off in the January sales.
Up front
This has been a problem area for Hearts for a few years. So what do you do when your team lack goals? You sign an established SPL striker who notched 17 goals the previous term. Hearts did that but John Sutton has still not managed to clock up ten appearances all season. After a difficult settling in period Sutton has drifted further and further back in the pecking order and Sergio has preferred to play Ryan Stevenson out of position, who in fairness earned himself a Scotland call with his form. Sutton doesn’t seem mobile enough for Sergio’s system but there are at least 9 other SPL sides who would love to have him. 
Kevin Kyle remains in the club canteen where he has been for nearly a year and will no doubt sit until his retirement this Summer. He had surprised most Hearts fans with what he provides to a team but he came with such high risk in terms of injuries, they can’t be surprised. I think it’s time he was given the Lenny ‘Of Mice and Men’ treatment out the back at Riccarton. With Calum Elliot and Gary Glen out the door, that really leaves only Stephen Elliott as the recognised striker in the line up.
Elliott has a decent enough pedigree and shows in glimpses what he can do but put simply, he just doesn’t score enough goals. With Elliott marked as another high earner, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him go but there really will be no replacement. Hearts haven’t found a regular 15 goal striker since Andrius Velicka or, further back, Mark De Vries. With the midfield not scoring their quota then it could continue to be tough up top for Hearts especially if they want to cling on to that fourth European spot.
Overall
Hearts undoubtedly have a squad capable of finishing third this season. But then, they have a squad capable of that every season and don’t always manage to do it. The Romanov ride seems to be coming to an end and it just wouldn’t be fitting to end with a whimper. The off-field troubles have undoubtedly affected results on the pitch and will continue to do so until a takeover is achieved. Romanov may well need to asjust his ‘special offer’ of 50 million quid though. Perhaps a leaf out of Sports Direct or Soccer World’s book and take up to 70% off that price or pretend they’re closing down.
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About the Author
Craig started performing comedy in 2010 and has since been scaling the stairs of comedy at the rate of Thora Hird in the Stannah adverts of the 80s. Not content with not setting Scotland alight with his musings, he has since moved to London to barely amuse an entirely new nation. As a student, in 2005 he won the BBC Student Sports Broadcaster of the Year and followed it up in 2006 with the BBC Student Comedy Broadcaster of the Year. In 2007, he was a finalist in BBC Talent’s Witty and Twisted competition and he has written for various blogs including journaling his own trip around the UK exploring Britain’s fascination with curry at www.landofhopandtandoori.co.uk (this is sadly not a joke).
Despite being English, Craig has been a season ticket holder at Hearts for over ten years but can put on a decent accent at away matches so as not to be turned on by the locals. Having only supported Hearts since 2000 when he moved to Scotland, he has the pleasure of not knowing or caring who Albert Kidd is but has had the misfortune of knowing or caring who Eduard Malofeev is.
Follow Craig on Twitter: @CraigHazell
