Andy Todd’s Jukebox Durie reveals why Pep chose Bayern!

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There’s been a lot of speculation as to why Pep Guardiola chose Bayern Munich after his record-breaking managerial career at Barcelona with 14 titles in just 4 years. Was it the culture? The ability to join a club with an established structure and a strong belief in developing its own players? Was he scared to join the Premiership, as many English pundits have claimed, afraid that his tika-taka passing wouldn’t work on a wet Wednesday night at Sheffield Wednesday in the face of stout English defenders who believe tika-taka is a mint you find in your granny’s handbag? Or was it something else….

The answer is simple. Per loves soft rock – and where better to find soft rock that the homeland of David Hasselhoff? Bayern’s official song ‘Stern des Südens‘ has it all – fuzzy guitars, solos, teutonic chanting. What did Chelsea have? Blur. Case closed.

So why did he quit Barcelona?

At Barcelona he may have had some of the best footballers in the world but he was also faced with some of the worst songs in football. You name the genre (Euro dance, spanish (or catalan?) ska, Traditional Folk) and Jukebox Durie will name a band whose produced an appalling Barcelona tribute song in that style. The following are only some of the offenders. Imagine listening to all of them. Imagine having to say they were good everytime a journalist interviewed you. That’s why Guardiola broke up the Barca band – musical differences.

Europop:

The original which was sung in Spanish as the Catalan language was banned by General Franco:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQaNFiSLZv0

Ska:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlZNvjg1eLs&feature=share&list=PL0F62A7E57FA18E39

More Europop:

And on, and on, and on… please God make it stop!

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About the Author
After too many years as season ticket holder at Parkhead, Andy Todd renounced the SPL three years ago to support Queens Park. One team is a rank bunch of amateurs who play in a state of the art stadium and the other is…(I think we can all see where this is going).

Andy has been performing comedy for 18 months but is currently ‘between gigs’ while he writes a book on Scottish property law to be published in Summer 2012. Its potential audience will be less than 300 but his mum will be very proud.

Follow Andy on Twitter: @toddandy

Check out Andy’s website: www.toddandy.com

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