Andy Todd’s Jukebox Durie remembers Di Canio’s feet…not his arm.

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There are certain moments in life I can remember vividly even though I’m not convinced they actually happened – like the time I saw Celtic’s Slovak superstar Lubo Moravcik trap a ball with his bum. (Which is not as kinky as it first sounds).

I can’t remember who Celtic were playing, I do remember it was at Celtic Park, and sometime during the game Lubo used his rear end to control a cross field pass before turning, stepping over the ball and placing a perfectly placed pass to Henrik Larsson.

But can I find any footage of this treasured memory? Or even a reference to it in a match report? No. Yet I still believe it happened and will, until Lionel Messi scores a hat trick with his d*ck, consider it the finest piece of football trickery I have or ever will see.

My second most treasured memory is one I know did happen. This time it comes from an Old Firm game and I was reminded of it by the appointment by Sunderland of noted political commentator, and bird spotter – well, he’s always pointing at something in the sky with his right hand – Paolo Di Canio as their new manager.

This time we’re back at Celtic Park. Celtic have just been awarded a free kick on the edge of the box and instead of running up and kicking it as players normally do, this time Celtic tried something a little different. One player put his foot under the ball and chipped it vertically in the air so that Di Canio could then execute a perfectly placed Roy of The Rovers volley into the top right corner of the Rangers goal. It was beautiful and it would have been extra special if only that perfectly placed shot hadn’t been perfectly placed against the crossbar. One millimetre lower and it would have been the best free kick you will have ever see but now it exists only in memory.

So, thank you, Paolo, for your one season at Celtic Park. You were a mercenary; you may or may not be a fascist; but as a footballer you had that one quality every fan wants to see: you believed you were the greatest player who ever played, that other players (and Ian Ferguson in particular) were beneath you and that there was magic in your golden boots. And some days you almost were.

Lazio fans tribute:

http://youtu.be/NI7NeCpcoTw

Disco Di Canio:

http://scottishcomedyfc.com/2012/01/19/andy-todds-jukebox-durie-this-week-paolo-d-i-canio/

The man himself singing I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles:

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About the Author
After too many years as season ticket holder at Parkhead, Andy Todd renounced the SPL three years ago to support Queens Park. One team is a rank bunch of amateurs who play in a state of the art stadium and the other is…(I think we can all see where this is going).

Andy has been performing comedy for 18 months but is currently ‘between gigs’ while he writes a book on Scottish property law to be published in Summer 2012. Its potential audience will be less than 300 but his mum will be very proud.

Follow Andy on Twitter: @toddandy

Check out Andy’s website: www.toddandy.com

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