Andy Todd’s Jukebox Durie presents…Messi & Ronaldo!

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As January becomes February it’s time for Jukebox Durie to return from its winter worldwide break and get back to the serious business of “playing meaningless matches” (Charles Green) as we await league reconstruction. But, before we do, how about a last night foreign fling with a couple of sexy Spanish movers? Go on, you know you want to…

Lionel Messi
That he’s the greatest footballer of all time is becoming less a debate and more a coronation as every year another record falls. But like many great footballers, like Georgie Best and Gazza, he has problems too. He…

Erm….

Wait a minute, I’ll think of something.

Damn it, Messi has no flaws. Or at least we all thought he did, until we saw this.

http://www.whoateallthepies.tv/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/messi-ballon-spots.jpg

Messi, probably the only man in the world where it would be a step up to be dressed by his mum. What were you thinking? I swear, like a magic eye picture, if I take a step back and squint I can see a sailing boat.

But don’t worry, Lionel, at least you’ve got your own official song to drown out the critics.

And, as a bonus, an unofficial Messi song featuring the entire Barcelona squad, or I think it’s them…:

Cristiano Ronaldo
Ronaldo may like to think he’s the greatest footballer of all time but does he have his own official song? No. Well, not as far as Jukebox Durie’s limited knowledge of Spanish or Portuguese can find. So, instead he has to settle on, what we think, is a Katy Perry knock off.

Poor Ronaldo, he couldn’t even get a Call Me Maybe parody. Always second best. But at least he’s never caught out wearing a fashion disaster. Not when he doesn’t wear any clothes.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2006/07/BeckhamFM_228x427.jpg

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About the Author
After too many years as season ticket holder at Parkhead, Andy Todd renounced the SPL three years ago to support Queens Park. One team is a rank bunch of amateurs who play in a state of the art stadium and the other is…(I think we can all see where this is going).

Andy has been performing comedy for 18 months but is currently ‘between gigs’ while he writes a book on Scottish property law to be published in Summer 2012. Its potential audience will be less than 300 but his mum will be very proud.

Follow Andy on Twitter: @toddandy

Check out Andy’s website: www.toddandy.com

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