Andy Todd’s Jukebox Durie…on why the Binos are dandy!

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After last weeks Celtic-centric article I was hoping to redress the Old Firm balance by writing about Rangers first away victory in Division 3. Surely, they wouldn’t lose to Stirling Albion, would they…?

*Silence*

*Tumbleweed*

Anyway… let’s talk about Stirling Albion instead.

Some people say Stirling Albion are the worst team in Scotland, bottom of the league, never won a cup, never been higher than Division 3, but would the worst team in Scotland have fans who actually upload videos of their songs to YouTube? (Hey Montrose, I’m looking at you!). Unlike some others I might name (I’m still staring at you Montrose) I have conclusive proof that not only do Stirling Albion fans have songs, the club may also have some fans. Today’s video is a poor videophone effort but it does show that a number of people in a pub all know the words to some Stirling Albion songs. And if that is not evidence of fans then I don’t know what is.

If the video is too poor for you to watch, I’ve also set out the lyrics to Stirling Albion’s most famous song below. I’m no a Bairn, I’m a Red.

My Garden Shed – (Solo)
My Garden Shed
Is bigger than this – (Solo)
Is bigger than this
My garden shed is bigger than this
Its got a door and a window
My Garden Shed is bigger than this

My Hamster’s cage- (Solo)
My Hamsters cage
Is bigger than this- (Solo)
Is bigger than this
My hamsters cage is bigger than this,
it’s got some straw and a spinwheel
My hamsters cage is bigger than this

Oh Murrie’s Ears- (Solo)
Oh Murrie’s Ears
Are bigger than this- (Solo)
Are bigger than this
Oh Murrie’s ears are bigger than this
They go from here out to here (hand actions to show how big they are)
Oh Murrie’s Ears are bigger than this
Singing, I’m no’ a Bairn, I’m a Red,
Singing, I’m no’ a Bairn, I’m a Red,
Singing, I’m no’ a Bairn,
An’ I’m no particularly carin’,
I’m no’ a Bairn, I’m a Red.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EE76U7FRzbE&w=420&h=315]

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About the Author
After too many years as season ticket holder at Parkhead, Andy Todd renounced the SPL three years ago to support Queens Park. One team is a rank bunch of amateurs who play in a state of the art stadium and the other is…(I think we can all see where this is going).

Andy has been performing comedy for 18 months but is currently ‘between gigs’ while he writes a book on Scottish property law to be published in Summer 2012. Its potential audience will be less than 300 but his mum will be very proud.

Follow Andy on Twitter: @toddandy

Check out Andy’s website: www.toddandy.com

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