Cristiano Ronaldo has announced he’s making a film about his life but he isn’t the first footballer to do so. “The Invisible Man” was about Michael Owen’s time at Manchester United, “Clueless” was the story of ex-Newcastle Manager John Carver’s time at St. James’ Park and the less said about “Shaun Maloney of the Dead,” the better!
Footballers like to make films. Three Leicester city players recently made a particularly enlightening documentary about the sex trade in Thailand but the club decided that it didn’t like the artistic direction of these budding Louis Therouxs and quite rightly sent them all home.
Ronaldo’s film will cover a year in his life which should roughly equate to three months of scoring spectacular goals, three months of staring at his pecks in the mirror, and six months swearing and sticking pins into his Lionel Messi Voodoo Doll. Riveting stuff! He should consider making a fictional film instead. I’d pay good money to see “The Count of Monte Cristiano Ronaldo”.
As I mentioned, Ronaldo won’t be the first or last professional footballer to grace the silver screen so without further ado, Scottish Comedy FC is proud to present the top 5 performances by footballers in film…
5. Allan Simonsen
Allan Who? Allan played for Barcelona and Denmark and appeared as himself in the 1977 Danish film “The Marksman”. The film involves a sniper plotting a killing spree with Allan appearing as a victim of the sniper.
He is gunned down while playing for Denmark but instead of filming the scene they used real footage of him, after which they asked him to lie still for an extended time so they could film his death scene.
4. Carlo Ancelotti
The Ex-Real Madrid coach appeared in 1983 Italian comedy “The World of Don Camillo” about a priest who coaches the town’s football team in a game of good and evil.
3. Vinnie Jones
Vinnie has appeared in over 80 films. He normally features in direct to DVD “lad” movies. The sort of film featuring gangsters, cockney rhyming slang and loads of “burds” on the cover. They have titles like “It’s Raining Men… Dead men” or “Sense and Sensibility and Dead Men.”
2. Eric Cantona
Eric has starred in 29 films – mostly in French even the ones supposed to be in English. He starred in a film named after himself – “Looking for Eric” which must have been a short film because all he had to do was say “I’m here!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzUddao92JQ
1. Frank Lebouef
The former Chelsea and France footballer, Frank Leboeuf is the first person to win the World Cup and have a role in a film nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars. In the Stephen Hawking biopic The Theory of Everything, he plays a Swiss Doctor in a pivotal (if pivotal is French for short) scene where the physicist is told that he will not be able to speak again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jw-u65PyHjc
