Weekend Football with Ross Leslie

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So…. Luis Suarez is an unstoppable moron, who would have thunk it.  In a weekend where football was dominated by non-handshakes (we will get to you in a minute Mr Sergio), Suarez did the unthinkable and made himself look even more pathetic.

Quite what went through his head when refusing the hand of Patrice Evra would give Frasier and Niles a real workout even on their best day, and to then compound matters their 60 year old manager Kenny Dalglish responded with an appalling attitude, acting as if he didn’t have something to defend and that Suarez was not to blame.

Now, as if they are actually trying to bait me halfway through typing my tuppence worth on the matter, Suarez and Dalglish have apologised for their actions.  Still, come on lads.

An apology has not been forthcoming thus far from Paulo Sergio for twice refusing to shake the hand of the man who had the temerity to answer a question at a press conference.  Come on Kenny Shiels answer questions on your own time pal.  The question in question (sorry) was of course something along the lines of “would you like some unknowledgeable banker from Lithuania telling you which players you can and cannot play at certain times”.  Shiels answered with a bit of backbone and said “no”.  Sergio not like this and doing his best Mourinho impersonation acted like a brat.

There was a double bonus for Celtic at the weekend as they picked up another victory on their relentless march towards winning their first title in 4 years, as well as getting assistance in extending this sequence from Daniel Majstorovic, who graciously got himself suspended for a couple of games.

Rangers shockingly managed a four goal haul over Dunfermline, which didnt involve a penalty or an own goal. You decide which is the most shocking of Lee McCulloch and Salim Kerkar both ending up on the scoresheet. Do they still have a scoresheet and what does it look like?

Didier Drogba paid tribute to his troubled and besieged buddy John Terry by replicating his infamous penalty in Moscow, against Zambia in the Cup of Nations final.

Future England manager / post Euro 2012 tabloid whipping boy, Harry “‘Arry” Redknapp led his side to an impressive victory against the man, who in his own head has already turned the England job down, Alan Pardew, with a 5-0 win for Tottenham over Newcastle.

Diego Maradona has defended Carlos Tevez and stuck it to Roberto Mancini over the spat from September when Tevez only refused to do his job, for goodness sake.  Maradona (not under the influence of anything, remember) has insisted that Mancini is a spoiled brat and needs to let Tevez back into the side as he is a star.  Presumably at the expense of Maradona’s son-in-law, Sergio Aguero.  Good luck getting your “World’s Best Grandpa” socks at Christmas now, Diego.

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About the Author
At 31 years old, Ross Leslie, is a relative latecomer to the comedy scene and with his general appearance you would be forgiven for thinking he is an even later-comer, which is a phrase that should hopefully not catch on as it sounds a little uncouth.

As well as starting out in the stand-up comedy world, Ross writes articles and blogs for various other websites and has other TV and radio projects in the pipeline that will probably never see the light of day, however at least it has cured his Football Manager addiction.

A lifelong Rangers fan, Ross’s first game was at Tynecastle in 1986 to watch Hearts hump us 3-1, when they used to be a football team and not the tabloid-fodder they have become. His favourite human being (apart from any family or friends reading this) are Alistair (Ally to everyone apart from Walter Smith for some reason) McCoist, with (King) Kenny Miller a close second.

Best memory from supporting Rangers was when leaving Ibrox after Rangers had annihilated Sturm Graz 5-0 telling his impressionable younger brother that he would take him to the Champions League Final they would definitely be making this year.

Please visit Ross on his Tumblr blog and Twitter page for more disappointment and resentment.

Follow Ross on Twitter: @misterross
Read Ross’ blog: http://mum-blings.tumblr.com/

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