Poor old Falcao. He’s away back to enjoy tax haven status in Monaco while SUPER AGENT Jorge Mendes looks for a club in desperate need of a four goal per season striker. Chelsea are on the prowl after losing Didier Drogba’s four goals to the creeping menace of Major League Soccer.
Despite being hailed as Liverpool’s potential saviour, Belgian teenager Divock Origi has been named in L’Equipe’s worst XI of the season. Say what you like about him- he’ll be better than Super Mario.
L'Equipe name their worst XI of the season. Origi and Thauvin included #LFC #THFC Must have played 21 times. pic.twitter.com/7Blm4rrJrT
— FFW (@FrenchFtWeekly) May 25, 2015
Origi is listed on Newcastle United‘s “Blueprint for the Future” alongside their upcoming signings Ahamada, Gbamin, Grigore, Mongongu, Contento, N’Daw, Sankharé, Thauvin, Touzghar and Lejeune. Nae luck.
Kilmarnock have released five first team players. Lee Miller, Sammy Clingan, Paul Cairney, Chris Chantler have all been let go, along with Nathan Eccleston who they found down the back of a fridge. Alexei Eremenko is also leaving in order to appear on A Place In The Sun.
Lovejoy has signed for Ross County! Yes, fresh from surviving in the Premiership, County have given Queen of the South midfielder Ian McShane his chance in the ‘big’ league.
Serial flop and subject of a widely misinterpreted joke article on this very website, Nicklas Bendtner, is off somewhere that will appreciate his talents. He’s off to Copenhagen, scene of one of his greatest triumphs.
In managerial news, Rafa Benitez will attempt to cast off his comedy image in order to take over the reins at Real Madrid. No joke here. He has an incredible pedigree. Stop laughing.
West Ham will switch their attention from Carlo Ancelotti after the former Real Madrid manager declared he would take a year off to have much-needed surgery. After hearing himself linked with West Ham, he’s having to have his eyebrow surgically lowered.
Oh. Virgil Van Dijk might leave Celtic. Just to keep you updated from last week.
