This article was originally written for Teddy’s Dunfermline Press column, but he swapped it for a different piece after the same topic ended up being covered by another writer:

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By Teddy (@ComedyTeddy)

This summer, Scottish football’s hottest prospect, Johnny Russell, was being chased by Serie A club Catania. He ended up at mid-table Championship side Derby County. As a neutral on Johnny Russell, I’d have been fascinated to see how he’d get on and how much he could have improved by playing in Serie A. Now that he’s at Derby? I might muster the interest to cock an ear towards the radio if his name’s mentioned on the scoresheet.

At least this wasn’t Russell’s fault. He favoured Italy, but United knocked back Catania’s offer and accepted a higher one from Derby. Too often though, Scottish players have failed to embrace moves abroad. Sometimes it’s been no surprise. Few of us would have put money on Garry O’Connor seeing out his Lokomotiv Moscow contract. A player whose reaction to scoring the winning goal in the Russian Cup Final was to talk of his delight…at the Ferrari he’d be able to buy with the win bonus.

O’Connor’s Hibs strike partner Derek Riordan fared no better in China. He returned complaining that it was a half-hour walk to the nearest European supermarket. I’d suggest that he could have tried running there, but why break the habit of a lifetime?

So the legend goes, when Kris Boyd was in his first spell at Kilmarnock he returned from signing talks with Cardiff, walked into the dressing room and said “Did you know Cardiff’s in Wales?” Boyd later found his way to Turkey and the USA at least…but he also found his way back from both pretty quickly too.
Our players aren’t renowned as great travellers, but why is that? On a recent ‘My Football Hero’ podcast (with The Herald’s Richard Winton), Craig Brewster was the topic of conversation. A player who spent 5 years playing in Greece for Ionikos and was at times chased by the likes of AEK Athens. Brewster looked after himself well enough to be playing and scoring for Ross County when well into his 40s. Brewster does carry that ‘great professional’ tag, yet it’s too simplistic to say that’s why he was able to adjust to foreign climes while players like Riordan and O’Connor weren’t.

Two other Scots who managed to enjoy creditable careers abroad were Charlie Miller and Mo Johnston. With the greatest of respect to two footballers of great technical ability, it’s unlikely that either of them would be first picks to appear in a health education advert. Yet Miller spent years abroad playing in Norway, Belgium and Australia, while it’s often forgotten that Johnston’s most prolific spell for Scotland came during a highly creditable period with the French side Nantes. He was also one of the 90s pioneers who helped the MLS become established in America and still lives across the Atlantic.

The most famous example of a Scot plying his footballing trade abroad would of course be Champions League winner, Paul Lambert. Even then, there’s a bittersweet aspect to the story as after little more than a season, with his family struggling to settle, Lambert returned to Scotland. Credit to Lambert though, not only for his achievements in that season, but also in maintaining the German connection and sitting his coaching exams via the German FA.

You don’t need to be the world’s greatest professional to play abroad, you just need to have a willingness to throw yourself into the experience. I hope that, in the near future, more Scottish footballers find the willingness and do just that.

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About the Author

Twice runner-up in Scottish Comedian of the Year finals, Teddy was named ‘Best Up and Coming Comedian’ at the Scottish Variety Awards in 2010. He’s written for two BBC Radio 5 ‘Unsporting Reviews of the Year’, and has also worked as both writer and script editor on the BBC1 Scotland football shows ‘Offside’ & ‘Only An Excuse?’. He’s been a Rangers season-ticket holder for the past 17 years, but he’s all about the football not “all that other sh*te”. Also has a fondness for Dynamo Kyiv that can be traced back to an unhealthy obsession with Alexei Mikhailitchenko (or Oleksiy Mykhalychenko if you prefer to transliterate from the Ukrainian rather than the Russian. That’s the unhealthy obsession we’re talking about.)

“brilliant Scottish comic” Kate Copstick, Scotland on Sunday

“Head, shoulders, knees and toes above the rest…mighty stage presence and impressively high punchline ratio” Brian Donaldson, Scotsman

“freshly minted topical gags…pin-sharp lines…great routine…a class act” Steve Bennett, Chortle.co.uk

“has flourished…cracking lines” Jay Richardson, Scotsman

Teddy dreams of Scots away!

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