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In response to the offer of a handshake from Anton Ferdinand after the notorious game that has ultimately confirmed John Terry as, well, not a racist but as someone who shouted “f*cking black c*nt” in the direction of Anton Ferdinand.
So shouting “f*cking black c*nt” does not make you a racist? Tomorrow, I will try this and see how I get on. *fingers crossed*
First of all – cards on the table – I absolutely detest Terry, he, in my opinion, is everything that is wrong with modern life and football especially. I mean the ignorance, the do-what-I-facking-want attitude, the money, etc.
So it’s hard for me to come across as totally impartial here, but imagine if the FA just thought, “You know what, let’s just show all racists that we mean business and ban him for life”. It would definitely have an impact off the pitch, where fans who are caught being racist, homophobic or bigoted could legitimately find themselves banned for life. So why not footballers?
Do you think a footballer would dare try it again on the pitch? Hell, no. In Terry’s case it wouldn’t be as bad for him as he has had a worthwhile and fruitful career, even though HE DIDN’T WIN THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE, despite his best attempts to get involved at the end.
How would that go down if some top player like David Silva found himself banned for life? We would miss one great player and there would be a lot of litigious matters to deal with but would anyone do it again? Probably not. Look, there I’ve just solved something else for you football fans.
I could solve other things but I just don’t have the time. Especially when we have to look at the bizarre relationship between Cole and Terry.
Cole has clearly been alleged by the FA to have changed his evidence to include the word black so as to back up Terry’s “improbable” defence that he was merely repeating the words back to Ferdinand. Also, what about his comment at the start of the article, “you can’t speak to JT like that”? It almost has the ring of “nobody puts Baby in the corner” from a movie that I couldn’t possibly tell you as I’m a real man.
And finally, after Cole offered evidence that he is a good bloke, we had JT’s lawyers tell us that all is well and Terry has done some great work for charity. In this first week of October 2012, it’s perhaps not the best time to bring that up as a defence. John, it won’t fix it for you.
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About the Author
At 31 years old, Ross Leslie, is a relative latecomer to the comedy scene and with his general appearance you would be forgiven for thinking he is an even later-comer, which is a phrase that should hopefully not catch on as it sounds a little uncouth.
As well as starting out in the stand-up comedy world, Ross writes articles and blogs for various other websites and has other TV and radio projects in the pipeline that will probably never see the light of day, however at least it has cured his Football Manager addiction.
A lifelong Rangers fan, Ross’s first game was at Tynecastle in 1986 to watch Hearts hump us 3-1, when they used to be a football team and not the tabloid-fodder they have become. His favourite human being (apart from any family or friends reading this) are Alistair (Ally to everyone apart from Walter Smith for some reason) McCoist, with (King) Kenny Miller a close second.
Best memory from supporting Rangers was when leaving Ibrox after Rangers had annihilated Sturm Graz 5-0 telling his impressionable younger brother that he would take him to the Champions League Final they would definitely be making this year.
Please visit Ross on his Tumblr blog and Twitter page for more disappointment and resentment.
Follow Ross on Twitter: @misterross
Read Ross’ blog: http://mum-blings.tumblr.com/
