Wednesday night saw the completion of the Champions League Group stages and, for a welcome change, there was a fair bit of drama, a few shocks and even a good old fashioned ‘unusual result’ involving a French club! Memories of Tapie, Boli, Pele, Boksic, and the first Champions League tournament, ‘won’ for the first and only time by a French club, Olympique Marseille, who themselves qualified for the last 16 with their fellow Ligue 1 side Lyon. But more on that later.
First point of order must be the fact that both Manchester clubs have crashed out of Europe’s premier club competition and now face “the embarrassment of Thursday night football”. Who says English commentators are arrogant? Fergie has also “done a Broadfoot” (been left with egg on his face, boom boom!) after laughing off the suggestion that Man Who were struggling in Europe:
Chelsea went into their game against Valencia staring Europa League football in the face, and I must admit the prospect of all three English big guns crashing out at the first hurdle had me looking forward to the fixtures. To be honest, I thought Chelski and Man Utd would go through and City would go out. Had all 3 gone… I think I’d have peed my pants laughing. Two out of three isnt bad though. As it turned out, the biggest game of AVB’s season coincided with Didier “It’s a disgrace, It’s a f*cking disgrace” Drogba returning to devastating form since he was “knocked the fuck out” by ex well keeper John Ruddy of Norwich
Id like to say i actually like watching both Man Utd and Man City, and I have massive respect for both Ferguson and Mancini (a calcio star of the “Football Italia” Channel 4 era, check out this goal scored for Lazio)
Mancini was a true class act as a player and is up there with the Zolas, Baggios and other great players I remember watching at my grans every Sunday back in the 90s. That, however, is an article for another day! Despite this admiration, the reason that I wanted the English sides out was basically because i thought the fallout would be pretty funny to listen to… and it has been.
From Evra’s comments about having to look in the mirror, (don’t understand how thats supposed to help, try asking De Gea to look at the ball a bit closer!) to the hilarious difference of opinions between Ferguson and famous Irish deserter Roy Keane. This was only the third time that United had crashed out at the group stage and – having competed in 3 of the last 4 finals – you can see why the prospect of Maccabi Haifa in the Europa League next is not exactly filling the club with excitement. Throw in a bad injury for Vidic and it made for a thoroughly miserable night to end a miserable campaign for Man Utd. The inquest will go on for some time. Man City seem to be getting a bit more slack from the press, after all ‘this was their first crack at the Champions League’. They lost out to Champions League stalwarts and finalist 2 seasons ago Bayern Munich… and, eh, Napoli, who – I may be wrong here – are also starring in CL for first time and have not spent a quarter of what City have in the transfer market!
If City and United aren’t favourite and second favourites for the Europa League right now I’d be very surprised.
Vagner Love wants to leave CSKA and go back to Brazil, despite CL knock-out stage qualification. His pre-match warm-ups do suggest a fading commitment...Man Utd’s conquerors, FC Basel, joined Benfica in the second round. Along with AOPEL of Cyprus, they showed that smaller clubs with smaller budgets can compete with the big boys at this level. Celtic and Rangers please take note.
Arsenal had already reached the last 16 and along with Chelsea are now England’s two representatives. Spain also have 2 (guess who), Germany 2 (Bayern Munich and Bayer Leverkusen) Russia 2 (Zenit and CSKA Moskow), France 2 (Marseille and Lyon), while Napoli join the Milan giants giving Italy 3. This leaves AOPEL to represent Cyprus, Benfica Portugal and Basel Switzerland.
The Dinamo Zagreb team selection did raise a few eyebrows...The biggest story, after the Massacre of the Mancs and the truly remarkable achievement of APOEL, must be the qualification of Lyon via their 1-7 result in Zagreb which eliminated everyone’s favourite Euro away trip Ajax. Lyon needed a 7-goal swing to qualify and for Real to win in Amsterdam. Real duly obliged, and Zagreb collapsed in a second half which saw them ship 6 goals including 3 in a 7 minute spell that featured some truly shocking defending. A good friend who’s a big Rangers fan said 3 goals in 7 minutes combined with the carry-on defending stunk of a fix and a team lying down. I pointed out that very thing happened at Rugby Park on the last day of the SPL season last year. Some people have no sense of humour…
An investigation into the Lyon game has been launched by ARJEL, the French online gaming authority, but no irregular betting paterns have emerged. Zagreb sacked head coach Krunoslav Jurcic straight after the game, despite topping the Croatian League. Sacked while top of the league? I wonder what odds you’d have got on that?
———————————————————————————————————-
About the Author Eddie Cassidy (eventually) started Stand Up Comedy in Aug 2009, after many years of threatening to, and since then has reached the Scottish Comedian of the Year final in 2010 less than 18 months after his first gig, and has since performed all over Scotland and parts of England including a gig to the out their nut audience at scotlands (2nd) biggest music festival Rockness.
A lifelong Celtic fan and former regular at Pollok Juniors Newlandsfield Ground, situated in the shadow of the high rises in his native Pollokshaws in Glasgow (where he once witnessed a sub knock out a fan in a penguin costume while warming up), he is also a lover of all football and while Celtic will always be his true love, he views the rest of the football world as a copy of nuts magazine, something to look at and enjoy with no emotional attachment! A keen fan of the Premiership, European and International Football he has developed crushes on Parma (around 1994) Dortmund (around 1997) Croatia (1998) Valencia (2001) Ghana (2006) Brentford Town (2009) and still looks out for their results, and like any other football fan currently loves watchin the greatest team of all time, Barcelona. He also has a love hate relationship with Arsenal, however has recently been casting admiring glances at Spurs.
Eddie’s achievements in football include a u15′s medal from the goals 5 a side leagues with the legendary AC Pollokshaws, and once scored 19 goals when 21 years old playing against a bunch of children while drunk.
“Hilarious” The Skinny
“Very entertaining, a welcome high point” Chortle
“a future headliner, very impressive” Scottish Comedy Forum
Eddie is part of RNT Comedy, you can follow them on Twitter: @RNTComedy
Eddie Cassidy (eventually) started Stand Up Comedy in Aug 2009, after many years of threatening to, and since then has reached the Scottish Comedian of the Year final in 2010 less than 18 months after his first gig, and has since performed all over Scotland and parts of England including a gig to the out their nut audience at scotlands (2nd) biggest music festival Rockness.