‘Dear Scottish Comedy FC’ is Football’s first and only Agony Uncle! We’re not one of those creepy uncles who you only see at Christmas, stinking of booze, staggering around the dance floor before making a pass at your wife. No: ‘Dear SCFC’ is the awesome uncle who gives you money for your birthday, gets you into the football for free and buys you a cheeky beer when your parents aren’t looking.
Each week we will do our best to help those who can’t help themselves. If you have a problem (real or completely made up), send it to us using the form at the bottom of the article.
Dear Scottish Comedy FC,
Why are we doomed to glorious failure?
Scotland
Choose Andy Murray at Wimbledon, choose Chris Hoy at the Olympics, choose Colin McRae rallying, choose Stephen Hendry at the snooker, choose Jackie Stewart racing, choose Kenny Dalglish at football, choose Rhona Martin at Curling, choose Alex Ferguson at managing, choose Liz McColgan at running, choose Catriona Matthew at golf, choose Colin Montgomery… umm – ignore that one.
Choose to take pride in our performances when we win, choose to take pride in our performances when we lose. Choose our future. Choose to believe we aren’t doomed to fail. Choose Success! Choose win, lose or draw we will never use the phrase glorious failure ever again!
PS – Choose to steal the speech from Trainspotting.
Dear SCFC,
I’ve just been offered the Leeds United Job. I’ll be moving there so should I take out a 6 month or 12 month agreement on a rental property.
Sombrero Steve
Get a Travelodge instead. You can pay by the night.
Dear SCFC,
Is it safe to come out of the dressing room yet?
South African Ref
I’d give it a bit longer.
‘Dear SCFC’ is willing to offer advice to any fans so if you have a problem, your manager’s giving you jip, your star striker is more concerned with Dutch pancakes than Cruyff turns or you just want someone to listen to you, email us using the form below.
[contact-form to=’scottishcomedyfc@gmail.com’ subject=’Dear SCFC, Please Help Me’][contact-field label=’Name’ type=’name’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Comment’ type=’textarea’ required=’1’/][/contact-form]
Follow Scottish Comedy FC on Twitter: @ScotComFC
