Another Weekend of Football with Ross Leslie

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As a Rangers fan it is tough to write a review of the weekend without making some mention of the big news story of the week, you know, the one about how Daniel Cousin’s signing has not gone ahead as the SPL hasn’t sanctioned it.  So you could say he is now a Cousin twice removed.  My sincere apologies for that line and moving swiftly on.

Celtic took another step to seven-in-a-row (once Rangers are made to forfeit the last three) with a 5-0 annihilation of Hibs who took another step to the first division, where they may potentially meet Rangers in season 2014-2015.  Aside from Rangers 10 point deduction, Celtic are more than likely going to go the rest of the season without losing a game on current form.  They are a class apart.

………………….

Sorry, just back from being reunited with my dinner with that last line.

In the (magic of the) FA Cup with (p*ss-poor beer) Budweiser, Birmingham produced a shock result by drawing away at Stamford Bridge, with their opening goal scored by ex-Hibee David Murphy.  Andres Villas-Boas is confident he is safe however and has the backing of the trigger-happy, completely stable, should-have-a-better-beard-with-his-money, billionaire Roman Abramovich.  The real man in charge, John Terry’s, thoughts – as well as his next ride – are completely unknown.

A bigger shock I suppose for some is that Arsenal are now going to go seven years without silverware.  Roy Keane, who knows A LOT about football management has described them as the worst Arsenal side he has ever seen, so now we know.

Back in Scotland, John Hughes and John Collins, the modern-day Barnes/Dalglish dream team, continued the excellent work that Gary Bollan had been doing before being incredulously terminated from his position. With his two consecutive promotions and stabilisation in the First Division, he was frankly showing off and nobody likes show-off, take note Leo Messi.

Speaking of Leo Messi, allegedly his boss Pep Guardiola is interested in replacing Arsene Wenger when he has had enough of defending his footballing philosophy at Arsenal, which is going so well that people have actually started to feel sorry for the awful man.  Remember we mentioned it earlier.

Finally, in Brazil, we have found the best fan in the world, however this is the ACTUAL best fan in the world.  Not the endless platitudes of tedious players,  managers and chairmen buttering up their own fans by proclaiming them to be “the best in the world”.  Step forward Tiago Rech who made the journey to an away match for his side Santa Cruz, against Gremio and watched them lose 4-1.  The reason he is the best fan in the world?  He was the only away fan there.  Crazy, and he even stayed to the end.  However I believe this was to throw his scarf onto the pitch in disgust at that fourth goal, poor defending has its limits people.

Oh, and as for who’s to blame for the Ibrox debacle, my analogy is Sir David Murray left a big nasty skidmark (EBT tax liability) in the toilet.  Craig Whyte tried with his feeble urine to remove this, but then decided to do a big jobby too (non-payment of £9m to HMRC), ergo they are both to blame.

You can download/listen/subscribe to the Scottish Comedy FC podcast HERE
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About the Author
At 31 years old, Ross Leslie, is a relative latecomer to the comedy scene and with his general appearance you would be forgiven for thinking he is an even later-comer, which is a phrase that should hopefully not catch on as it sounds a little uncouth.

As well as starting out in the stand-up comedy world, Ross writes articles and blogs for various other websites and has other TV and radio projects in the pipeline that will probably never see the light of day, however at least it has cured his Football Manager addiction.

A lifelong Rangers fan, Ross’s first game was at Tynecastle in 1986 to watch Hearts hump us 3-1, when they used to be a football team and not the tabloid-fodder they have become. His favourite human being (apart from any family or friends reading this) are Alistair (Ally to everyone apart from Walter Smith for some reason) McCoist, with (King) Kenny Miller a close second.

Best memory from supporting Rangers was when leaving Ibrox after Rangers had annihilated Sturm Graz 5-0 telling his impressionable younger brother that he would take him to the Champions League Final they would definitely be making this year.

Please visit Ross on his Tumblr blog and Twitter page for more disappointment and resentment.

Follow Ross on Twitter: @misterross
Read Ross’ blog: http://mum-blings.tumblr.com/

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