This week’s Transfer Rumours aren’t rumours! They’re facts! It’s time to celebrate the fact that finally one of our rumours has come true with the news that Money’s Raheem Sterling is off to Manchester City to see if he can cut it ahead of Jesus Navas, who must be looking very nervously over his shoulder.
All this talk of transfers takes us to our first stop where Celtic, unperturbed by the somewhat flat reaction to their signing of Turkish “ace” Nadir Çiftçi have gone all out to prove to their fans that they’ve got what it takes to bring the title home again by revealing a somewhat unorthodox list of transfer targets (pictured left).
Meanwhile, unable to displace the likes of Ryan McGowan and John Souttar in the new look Celtic lineup, Virgil van Dijk is still sitting by his phone, pleading for Sunderland to call him up and extricate him from the particular circle of hell in which he finds himself.
Good luck, Virgil. We’re thinking of you always.
Anyway, from someone who could have been overpriced (if anyone would come in and buy him), to someone who most definitely is.
Liverpool fans are caught between maudlin hand-wringing and gleeful hand-rubbing today with the news that Raheem Sterling is set to complete a move to Manchester City. The fee, the small matter of £49million has caught some off guard and led many to suggest that Sterling isn’t quite as good as the BARCLAYS PREMIER LEAGUE: THE BEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD HYPE MACHINE has suggested he is.
Predictions are coming left, right, and centre (which is handy because he can play all those positions)…
Raheem Sterling in 3 years time pic.twitter.com/KAC9CMkJAP
— Sunday League FC (@SundayLeagueFC) July 13, 2015
Look forward to seeing Raheem Sterling raid down City's left wing next season pic.twitter.com/e3fKLevbkF
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) July 12, 2015
Raheem Sterling after 10 Games for Man City. The new Shaun Wright Philips. #LFC pic.twitter.com/s2Cxah4YTI
— My Surname is Khan™ (@ejaz_k) July 13, 2015
Some are just surprised at the price…
So who laughed more? Kenny Dalglish at getting £50m for Fernando Torres, or Brendan Rodgers at getting £49m for Raheem Sterling?
— Craig Anderson (@CraigyAnderson) July 12, 2015
Two most expensive players in England, Raheem Sterling & Andy Carroll…nuff said #dearyme
— ally begg (@ally_begg) July 12, 2015
Weirdly Sky Sports have him in City’s starting lineup…
We look at the tactical options available to @MCFC upon signing Raheem Sterling: http://t.co/a1GVJ5Y1v1 pic.twitter.com/4AhgjMGNhl
— Sky Sports Football (@SkyFootball) July 13, 2015
Meanwhile, there’s shots fired over here…
Sterling to his agent: "What club has the least supporters? I hate fans."
Ward; "I just have the team for you…" #RaheemSterling #BPL
— Noel C (@nowlc) July 12, 2015
I officially hate Raheem Sterling
— Phil Taylor (BP) (@philio_spesh) July 12, 2015
Don't wanna see Raheem Sterling in a Liverpool kit again. Hate the kid now.
— Matthew Williams (@Matthew98_) July 9, 2015
And of course, the obligatory, “Wow that’s a bit much” tweets…
Ha. I hate Raheem Sterling so much. Hope he destroys his ACL, retires early and becomes an alcoholic. #LFC
— Lee (@Lee_Parry) July 7, 2015
I Think I hate raheem sterling more than anyone that has ever lived and fictional characters
— Reece Taylor (@Reeceytt) June 14, 2015
The comparisons are astonishing…
£49m used to get you Zidane….. Arsenal's Invincibles only cost £46.5m……
BUT 10p used to get you a Freddo….those days are long gone
— Dan Heap (@Ohdannyboy77) July 13, 2015
Although some people have their heads screwed on…
Ok for all you cynics the Arsenal Invincibles team would be worth today approx £67m with inflation #NotFarOff
— Joe Morrison (@joefooty) July 13, 2015
The big question is though, is it better business for City or for Liverpool? We’re just going to leave what Paul Sarahs was just leaving there, here. Or something.
Just going to leave this here. http://t.co/sL53FUlJKi
— Paul Sarahs (@PaulSarahs) July 12, 2015
Join us next week when all the big deals will be done and it’ll be back to fatuous nonsense. I’m personally looking forward to it.
He is the editor of this fine site and a regular on the Scottish Comedy FC Podcast despite refusing to go anywhere near Owen's house.
He supports Kilmarnock and is a comedian to no-one but himself.
