Charlie_Austin_2015

The transfer window may be closed but the rumour mill grinds inexorably on like… some kind of Heath Robinson contraption powered expelled gas from Jim White’s colon.

And at the end of that contraption, ready to be prodded awake by a pin every Monday morning, is Transfer Nonsense; your one-stop-shop for transfers, nonsense and laboured jokes about the gaseous excretions of a so-called (by Sky Sports) National Treasure.

So onto the rumours and the biggest news of the week. Tortured soul Emmanuel Adebayor has finally been released from his £100,000 per week prison and is free to take his services – whatever they may be – to another club. That club will inevitably be Aston Villa with Tim Sherwood believing that he would play for nothing.

Naive both tactically and in life, our Tim.

The terms of Adebayor’s pay-off are unclear but given that he was holding out for a full pay-off on Transfer Deadline Day, you’d have to assume it was in the millions of pounds. That’s when you know you’ve completed your fall from grace, when clubs are forking out multi-millions just to get rid of you.

I hope to reach that point one day.

Elsewhere in the League that is Premier, Newcastle United are taking a closer look at Charlie Austin after deciding that they’re a bit short up front, with only Papiss Cissé and card-magnet Aleksander Mitrovic for company. They only want to pay £6 million for him though, which could be a bit awkward as every goal he scores in the Championship (5 in 6 games) makes him look worth every penny of the £15 million QPR are quoting for him.

It might seem like daylight robbery for a Championship club to demand so much money from the mighty Newcastle, especially when you consider that one of Anderlecht’s brightest, Youri Tielemans, is being touted around for a mere £14 million (Arsenal and Chelsea are sniffing around there).

Goals cost money though, and so do transfers, put the two together and it’s £15 million or GTFO for Steve McClaren.

Michael Park
According to Vanity Fair, Michael Park is "The Internet's Most Thoughtful Hipster".

He is the editor of this fine site and a regular on the Scottish Comedy FC Podcast despite refusing to go anywhere near Owen's house.

He supports Kilmarnock and is a comedian to no-one but himself.

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