Transfer rumours are a fickle business and those ‘in the know’ (not us) would tell you that most of the speculation you hear is just smoke and mirrors. In fact, anyone who has read Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s book “I Am Zlatan” will know all about that. Then it turned out that he didn’t write it. MORE SMOKE AND MIRRORS.
When it comes to transfer rumours though, no-one is safe from the pull of the Barclays Premier League- the Best League In The World™- except Kris Boyd and Lee McCulloch who are going to Kilmarnock in the Ladbrokes Scottish Professional Football League- another league in the world™.
Speaking of another league in the world, Alex McLeish’s Genk are about to get down on their hands and knees and beg Celtic target Jelle Vossen to stay at the club. Meanwhile, Virgil van Dijk is still receiving drunken proclamations of love via Whatsapp from Sunderland manager Dick Advocaat.
Madjid Bougherra has claimed that he turned down the opportunity to go back to Rangers this summer. He has signed a new deal at his current club, citing the fact that you should “never go back.” To supplement the signing of Danny Wilson, Rangers are now targeting Marco Negri, Tore Andre Flo, Richard Gough and Sergio Porrini as they prepare a nostalgia-filled assault on the SPFL Championship. They’re also in for former Manchester City trainee Reece Wabara who was recently released by Doncaster.
The main transfer story this week is that, once again, Manchester heavyweights United and City are about to slug it out for the signature of one of the biggest players in the world. No, not Adebayo Akinfenwa but Real Madrid’s Sergio Ramos.
City and United look all set to continue their scouting policy of “We saw him first!”, by looking amorously at any player that their rivals are trying to sign. Who knows, they might even spring for another billboard.
While we’re talking about wide objects that should be easy to hit with a football, crossing’s Stewart Downing is wanted by Newcastle, Leicester City and Sunderland, all of whom have been impressed by the fact that Hollywood icons West Ham don’t seem to want him any more.
Rumours that Manchester United will employ a smoke and mirrors tactic of bidding £13million for Downing in an effort to get their city rivals to waste money on him are unsubstantiated and almost definitely false.
He is the editor of this fine site and a regular on the Scottish Comedy FC Podcast despite refusing to go anywhere near Owen's house.
He supports Kilmarnock and is a comedian to no-one but himself.
