transfer_nonsense_liverpool

As if things weren’t bad enough for Sunderland fans with their club languishing in the relegation zone, rumours of massive internal strife and Steven Fletcher up front, they now have Sam Allardyce as manager.

Sunderland’s squad is chock-full of under-motivated duds and Sam has targeted Kevin Nolan, his former Captain and a man who loves Christmas so much that he always makes sure to get a three match ban in December, to put things right at the Stadium of Light.

That rhymed. Which is good since the man they call Allardici has also been linked with former West Ham outcast Morgan Amalfitano whose goals were poetry in motion but, like Samuel Taylor Coleridge, performed so infrequently that it barely mattered.

On Merseyside, all the news is about some charismatic German with a penchant for photobombing. Jurgen Klopp has moved into Brendan Rodgers’ old Penthouse apartment but it’s not known whether he’s kept all of the original features, like Brendan’s portrait of himself…

Brendan_rodger_portrait

If Brendan takes the stunning artwork with him, Klopp will console himself by signing Bayern Munich’s prolific striker and DREAM CRUSHER Robert Lewandowski.

The Pole has scored 15 goals in his last 6 games for club and country but Scotland’s Steven Fletcher has a similar record, bagging 17 goals for club and country in his last three… seasons (including 6 against Gibraltar). Celtic continue their inexplicable interest in the Scotland striker.

You might think that Fletcher would fit in well at Aston Villa who have scored just 8 goals this season and have problems which stretch beyond just selling their best players and replacing them with unproven kids and injury-prone defenders. Of course, it’s much easier to just blame Tactics Tim Sherwood for being a terrible manager.

Because he is.

Rodgers and his portrait could be on his way to Aston Villa to replace the beleaguered Tim who had assumed that if ‘being a motivator’ had worked for Harry Redknapp, it would work for him. On the bright side, the favourite to take the job along with Rodgers is David Moyes, a man who looks like he’s endured three years of psychological torture.

Which might not be too far from the truth…

Michael Park
According to Vanity Fair, Michael Park is "The Internet's Most Thoughtful Hipster".

He is the editor of this fine site and a regular on the Scottish Comedy FC Podcast despite refusing to go anywhere near Owen's house.

He supports Kilmarnock and is a comedian to no-one but himself.

Twitter

Related Posts

Transfer Nonsense: Liverpool Want Lewandowski & Celtic Want Fletcher

Comments

comments

Tagged on:                                                 
x
Like us on Facebook!