advocaat-van-dijk

Looming over your club like the spectre at the feast, Transfer Nonsense is back with all of the latest absolute hogwash and rumour from the transfer market.

Celtic are in the market for a new left back after deciding that Emilio Izaguirre doesn’t have what it takes to perform at the “highest level”. Lech Poznan’s Barry Douglas has been linked with them, because that’s a really connection to make… and he used to play for Dundee United. Perfect.

China is ruining everybody’s fun by paying crazy wages to bring in players like Paulinho and err… Scott McDonald? They’re poised to pluck him right from under the noses of Motherwell. In other Well news; Kilmarnock fans will be simply devastated to hear that walking bombscare Craig Samson is so devastated to have lost his number one spot to Jamie MacDonald that he’s considering doing a bunk to Motherwell.

Andrew Driver, admit it you’d forgotten all about him, is due to sign for De Graafschap in the Eredivisie this week. Not much of a story there, unless you were getting twitchy about him signing for your club.

Dundee United have had another bid for Scott Allan rejected and are thinking of turning their attention to St Mirren’s John McGinn, who is reluctant to sign a new contract with the club he’s suing.

South of the border, there are plans afoot for Chelsea to bring in Paul Pogba and turn him into a combative midfield enforcer to replace John Obi Mikel. Everybody in the lower half of the Premier League table is trying to sign Charlie Austin from QPR, one of the only QPR players attracting interest this summer, and

Newcastle United are looking to do a Football Manager and sign Anderlecht’s Aleksandar Mitrovic and Chancel Mbemba for a combined fee of £21million. On the other side of the Tyne/Wear rivalry, there aren’t any rumours coming out of Sunderland right now. Virgil van Dijk is still sitting beside the phone, imagining the dulcet tones of Dick Advocaat. Sometimes he drifts into a restless sleep and sees himself in a dream, standing in front of the Stadium of Light faithful, holding aloft the Premier League trophy.

Poor Virgil. He can dream, can’t he?

Transfer Nonsense: A Left Back For All Seasons

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