The East End of Glasgow can seem like a daunting place at times, so you do worry about how a loved-up Scandinavian would get on there if left to his own devices. At least, that was something I wondered after reading that Ronny Deila had informed the press that he ‘likes hugs’.

Granted, there was context to the Celtic manager’s comments, given that what he was saying was that he preferred being hugged by Kris Commons than having possibly Celtic’s most effective player snarling, pointing and waving at the Celtic management team and generally making them look like d*cks.

If Commons’s moment of (possibly justified) madness in Molde was embarrassing for Celtic though, then it was a godsend for Michael Stewart, who was once more able to embark on the pot/kettle exercise of criticising John Collins for his people skills. Where Stewart might have it right though is that if you’re opinionated, grumpy and happy to p*ss off footballers with your comments – you’re probably better off being paid to watch football by a broadcaster rather than by a football club.

When he’s not busy hugging it out mano a mano with Kris Commons, Ronny Deila might want to give BT Sport a shout and get them to cancel Ryan Christie’s subscription. The new Celt is still on loan at his old club, Caley Thistle, and says that he’s watching Celtic’s style of play on TV so that he can adapt to it next season. If he’s taken any style tips from the Molde match then he’s already well on the way to earning himself a free transfer.

Across Glasgow, Mark Warburton attracted some scorn for suggesting that Rangers’ keeper Wes Foderingham will someday play for England. Thing is though, in the 1970s England’s back-up goalie was Peter Bonetti – nicknamed The Cat. These days England’s back-up goalie could potentially be a cat. After Joe Hart, there’s no strength in depth for that position.

Ponder the names that have been in England goalie squads over the past decade:

Chris Kirkland – now at Preston.
Joe Lewis – now on loan at Fulham from Cardiff City
Rob Green – now at QPR (See ‘Newcastle and Leeds’)
Scott Carson – now at Derby
Paul Robinson – unattached following his release by Blackburn (he’s only 36)
David Stockdale – now at Brighton
Jack Butland – now first-choice at Stoke… following 6 loan spells in the past 5 years of his career

It’s hardly a list that strikes fear and awe into the heart of any young keeper looking to push ahead of them. In fact, I’m tempted to fake an English birth certificate for one of my grans and get a call-up by reinventing the Fatty Foulke goalkeeping style for the modern generation.

Follow Scottish Comedy FC on Twitter: @ScotComFC

Ross 'Teddy' Craig
Teddy retired from stand-up in 2014 after a 16-year career that saw him win ‘Best Up and Coming Comedian’ at The Scottish Variety Awards in 2010 and come runner-up in the Scottish Comedian of the Year Finals of 2008 and 2009.

Among other TV and radio credits, his football-savvy has meant roles as writer/script-editor on Offside and Only An Excuse (both BBC1 Scotland).

He set up ScottishComedyFC.com in 2011, hosts and produces the Scottish Comedy FC Podcast and is often the fingers behind the tweets on @ScotComFC.

These days, his content-creative and social media skills have led to him working as a content marketing specialist with a top Edinburgh agency. He remains in demand as a comedy writer and this year has been commissioned to write on the BBC Radio Scotland shows ‘The Good, The Bad and The Unexpected’, ‘The Fame Game’ and ‘Breaking The News’.


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