teddys-topical-times

It’s a mark of Jose Mourinho’s management style that the worst and most shocking thing he could think of to give his players a fright was suggesting that he’d actually give some young players a chance. What he’d forgotten to factor in before their defeat to Porto was that if you want a threat to work, you still have to make it believable. Something for him to ponder on before he announces to the Chelsea squad that if they don’t buck up their ideas then he’ll stay at the club for longer than 3 years.

The Chelsea result wasn’t all bad news for managers in England though. Arsene Wenger saw his Arsenal side lose at home to Olympiakos but surely must have heard that Jose had just lose to Iker Casillas’s new team and thought, “I’ll take that.”

At least Mourinho showed an understanding of who’s been causing him problems though – his own squad. Contrast that with the shadowy figures in Brendan Rodgers’ mind who exist only to detabilise him. As if it’s necessary to further destabilise someone who has a portrait of themselves in their house.

Rodgers is still receiving some love from an old player though – Steven Gerrard continues to wax lyrical about how much better his relationship was with Brendan than with Rafa Benitez. On the other hand, Wayne Rooney revealed that he’d fallen out with Sir Alex Ferguson during Fergie’s final season at the club. Rooney’s gripe is that he didn’t actually request a transfer as Fergie requested – he merely told him that if he wasn’t going to play him then he might as well leave. It’s charming that Wayne retains the childlike naivety to believe that telling Fergie to pick him doesn’t constitute the same effect as putting in a transfer request.

It’s very simple Wayne. Write a book – this constitutes a transfer request. Give an interview to MUTV – this constitutes a transfer request. Mention what a good show MOTD is and how much you enjoy the manager interviews – this constitutes a transfer request.

Given how fiery the legendary Govan-born boss was, it’s tempting to wonder what he’d have made of the behaviour of Liverpool’s reserve goalie Lawrence Vigouroux. Loaned to Swindon, he turned up late to training for his new club and was fined £50… a fine he decided to pay in pennies. Try that at a Scottish Junior side. Those pennies would be going into a sock.

Speaking of bags full of money, FIFA has once more been in the news; Sepp Blatter has been questioned by the Swiss attorney general. As unsympathetic a character as Sepp is, there’s something pretty hypocritical about a member of the Swiss establishment asking you if you’ve been involved in some iffy financial transactions. Even in the hypothetical case of him ever being convicted of anything, he could always point out – “Well, at least the people whose money I’ve got are still alive.”

In Scotland the main story of the weekend was the sacking of Jackie McNamara. McNamara’s main gripe was that it happened the tunnel just after the match. The United fans’ main gripe was also the timing of it. Which they would have shaved about 6 months off. It’s a double blow for Jackie Mac. Not only does he leave United, he leaves without being poached by another club. Which would probably have netted him a percentage cut of the compensation.

Celtic could only draw with Hearts, perhaps because they were missing a “box player” – Mikael Lustig’s description of Carlton Cole, who’s been training with the reigning champions. To be fair, Celtic did have a box player in Stefan Scepovic, before they loaned him out to Getafe. In that he may as well have spent his time at Celtic locked in a f***ing box.

Across the city, Marco Negri has backed Martyn Waghorn to emulate his record of 33 goals in his first 26 matches for Rangers. What Waghorn will be hoping not to emulate is Marco’s record of playing until January, suffering a clouded-in-the-mists-of-confusion squash injury, seeming to fall out with your teammates and the manager, doing nothing for the rest of your contract, doing nothing for the rest of your career… then belatedly realising that your best chance of getting paid for interviews is banging on about that half season when you kicked a ball at Ibrox.

Call me a cynic.

Ross 'Teddy' Craig
Teddy retired from stand-up in 2014 after a 16-year career that saw him win ‘Best Up and Coming Comedian’ at The Scottish Variety Awards in 2010 and come runner-up in the Scottish Comedian of the Year Finals of 2008 and 2009.

Among other TV and radio credits, his football-savvy has meant roles as writer/script-editor on Offside and Only An Excuse (both BBC1 Scotland).

He set up ScottishComedyFC.com in 2011, hosts and produces the Scottish Comedy FC Podcast and is often the fingers behind the tweets on @ScotComFC.

These days, his content-creative and social media skills have led to him working as a content marketing specialist with a top Edinburgh agency. He remains in demand as a comedy writer and this year has been commissioned to write on the BBC Radio Scotland shows ‘The Good, The Bad and The Unexpected’, ‘The Fame Game’ and ‘Breaking The News’.

Twitter
Topical Times: Celtic Strikers, Rangers Strikers & Jackie Sacknamara for FIFA President!

Comments

comments

Tagged on:                                                     
x
Like us on Facebook!