Ross Leslie give his view on Team GB

Aw shucks, he would feel sad, you know. The man who endeared himself to his adoring public down south with his tough-tackling and controlled anger, masquerading as determination, AND had the nickname “Psycho” coined in his honour would be sad. He would be sad, if we Scottish football fans don’t want anything to do with the farce that is Team GB.

The name itself almost makes me cringe myself inside out and upside down, it’s so damn awful. It sounds like two nerdy kids, George and Brendan, asked to come up for a cool name for their chess club and that is the best they could come up with.

“Psycho” is a proud Englishman and it would appear a proud Brit too, and you have to admire such pride in his nationality, although his BNP member brother probably pips him to the post for staunch nationalism, however if its okay with him – can we pass on this one?

Football should be nowhere near the Olympics in any event as it’s not the pinnacle in their respective sports, along with tennis and boxing. I don’t want to watch it, much the same way I don’t want to watch the Kirin Cup, or any other diddy tournament.

Especially so if it’s going to be run by “Psycho” who has been a failure as a manager. From his first match where he forgot to name a goalie on his first team sheet, which was only noticed by “Mrs Psycho”, to being sacked by Man City, not long after he played David James as a makeshift striker to snatch a goal at the death of a game.

As a player he wasn’t short of a cock-up or too, who could forget the comedy classic where in his final match he was gifted a penalty so he could score his 100th goal and then fluffed it and then allowing Davide Gualtieri to score one of my favourite goals of all time for San Marino in the eighth second of the match. (Internal editor – No mention of Italia 90, Ross?)

Team GB is a non-event for many Scots for many reasons and if we want to skip it to watch our own beautifully flawed league, which will have started by the time this competition starts, then that is our prerogative.

I mean there is enough cheating (simulation) in football as it is without exposing our footballers to the most contaminated sporting event in the world, with more dopes taking part than a debate in the House of Lords.

In summary, “Psycho” puff out your chest and try to be a big boy now. Oh, and if, one of your Team GB (*bleurgh*) miss a penalty, can they remake the Pizza Hut advert with you?
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About the Author
At 31 years old, Ross Leslie, is a relative latecomer to the comedy scene and with his general appearance you would be forgiven for thinking he is an even later-comer, which is a phrase that should hopefully not catch on as it sounds a little uncouth.

As well as starting out in the stand-up comedy world, Ross writes articles and blogs for various other websites and has other TV and radio projects in the pipeline that will probably never see the light of day, however at least it has cured his Football Manager addiction.

A lifelong Rangers fan, Ross’s first game was at Tynecastle in 1986 to watch Hearts hump us 3-1, when they used to be a football team and not the tabloid-fodder they have become. His favourite human being (apart from any family or friends reading this) are Alistair (Ally to everyone apart from Walter Smith for some reason) McCoist, with (King) Kenny Miller a close second.

Best memory from supporting Rangers was when leaving Ibrox after Rangers had annihilated Sturm Graz 5-0 telling his impressionable younger brother that he would take him to the Champions League Final they would definitely be making this year.

Please visit Ross on his Tumblr blog and Twitter page for more disappointment and resentment.

Follow Ross on Twitter: @misterross
Read Ross’ blog: http://mum-blings.tumblr.com/

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