The time is almost upon us where football fans across the nation burn last season’s official replica kit in a cleansing fire.
For those who have had an exciting and successful season, the fire is a way of offering sacrifice to the gods of football, who may next season bless you with a modest run in the Europa League. For the rest of us, the fire is a way of sending toxic plumes of smoke up to those omnipotent bastards.
That means you’ll be on the lookout for new ‘kit’, ‘clobber’ and ‘stuff’ to satiate your lust for sporting goods. Luckily, Scottish Comedy FC are going to bring you the top (not necessarily nicest) new football shirts launched and leaked every week until the start of next season! Aren’t you lucky?
5. Liverpool
This isn’t the world’s nicest kit, nor is it particularly unpleasant but given New Balance’s (recently rebranded from Warrior) previous penchant for designing Liverpool change kits that wouldn’t look out of place on naval flag semaphore, they have to be given some credit for reining themselves in.
4. Hibernian
Included not so much for being a nice kit- although it’s a nice change from the usual white Hibs away kit- but more for the video which accompanied the launch, a touching social experiment in which kids are forced to choose between a cupcake and “the mystery box”.
I hope they all got both in the end.
3. Rangers
Okay, did Rangers copy Hibs, or did Hibs copy Rangers? Either way, this is a nice wee throwback to Rangers’ tops of old, specifically the 1994/95 third kit but many are already asking the question about when the Gers will wear it. We’re not here to speculate, we’ve learned our lesson already.
2. Arsenal
Fans of Rangers’ third kit might notice a pattern emerging here. A diamond pattern. Aside from some subtle differences, you’re looking at pretty much the same design between Arsenal’s new away kit and Rangers’ third. At first glance it looks like a sweater-vest that an elderly professor might well but the tradition from previous Arsenal away kits is present and that’s a massive positive.
1. Chelsea
Love them or hate them, Chelsea usually manage to bring out a decent looking kit. This latest Adidas effort is no different. Sure, the layout of the Yokohama Tyres logo might make it look a little off balance but a really tidy collar with red detailing and subtle pinstripes show that Adidas have done it again.
Will Chelsea?
He is the editor of this fine site and a regular on the Scottish Comedy FC Podcast despite refusing to go anywhere near Owen's house.
He supports Kilmarnock and is a comedian to no-one but himself.
