The time is almost upon us where football fans across the nation burn this season’s official replica kit in a cleansing fire.
For those who have had an exciting and successful season, the fire is a way of offering sacrifice to the gods of football who may next season bless you with a run in the Europa League. For the rest of us, the fire is a way of sending toxic plumes of smoke up to the football gods as a curse.
That means you’ll be on the lookout for new ‘kit’, ‘clobber’ and ‘stuff’ to satiate your lust for sporting goods. Luckily, Scottish Comedy FC are going to bring you the top 5 (not necessarily nicest) kits launched and leaked every week until the start of next season! Aren’t you lucky?
5. Hearts
Bad news Hearts fans! After a season of having one of the nicest kits… pretty much anywhere… you’ve gone and jumped into bed with our friends from Puma.
Famous for making the nastiest, tackiest, clingiest tops in the game (hello to Newcastle United fans), these shirts might just manage to toe the line between tasteful and unashamedly awful. Often Puma kit looks better on the peg than it does on the player so let’s wait and see how it hangs on Morgaro Gomis before we judge it too harshly, shall we?
4. Crystal Palace
Fans of weird shorts are well catered for in this effort by Macron which has echoes of past Barcelona kits with its two-tone neck and yellow highlights. Perfect for Pardiola’s team of heroes.
Excitement comes from the tearable strip up the side of the home shorts which could leave particularly aggressive players wearing a pair of Macron chaps come full time. Ooft.
3. Aberdeen
Aberdeen hark back to the heady days of 1996-97 with this Adidas effort featuring ‘subtle’ stripes. Interestingly they’ve opted for a combination of a spotty collar and the never-successful two tone red. Discerning reader a noticeable difference between the shorts and shirt and even a change in colour for the shirt’s cuffs.
Still- it worked for Cardiff, right?
2. AC Milan
Last year’s effort was so ugly that it actually killed people so fans of the Rossoneri will be pleased that the club have returned to the formula that’s served them so well in the past. Nice stripes, nice badge, nice crew neck, nice lack of interest from Stephan El Sharaawy, and all sewn together with some understated (for once) Adidas stripes.
It’s so good looking it’s got Keisuke Honda wishing he had a collar to pop.
1. Falkirk
As Championship home kits go, this Falkirk one is bound to be up there with the best of them and- would you look at that- it’s a Puma one! What fresh hell is this?
It just goes to show that simplicity works. The gold highlights and the simple but modern collar on the polo-style shirt means it will probably look just as good with jeans as it will on the pitch. That being said though, the material looks like it’s fashioned from recycled bin bags but you can’t have everything.
Check back next week for five more of the best (and worst) new kits!
You’ll be waiting a while to see how it hangs on Adam Eckersley, seeing as he’s been released…
With your comments regarding the Hearts Strip I think you are way of the mark the new strips have some caricature more so the away shirt it stands out but that is my opinion ……….