So the first week of Scottish Comedy FC’s Fantasy Premier League is complete and it’s good news for some, but terrible news for this correspondent who may have to give up writing about football forever.

With this being just the first week of our little league, this will be a relatively short round-up, but here goes! It was a tough week for anyone relying on Eden Hazard who was so important to Chelsea’s gameplan against Swansea that the pressure played him almost completely out of the game. Anyone hoping for a solid points return from him would have been upset with his two points, as well as his inability to pick himself up off the floor.

It was a different story for those with Yaya Touré in their team, the Man City midfielder netted 16 points for his team – the best in the league – closely followed (weirdly) by Marc Albrighton and Riyad Mahrez. Can the Leicester City men keep up their astonishing points total this week when they take on West Ham at Upton Park?

I don’t know. That’s why I’m joint 55th position.

Speaking of the rankings, here’s the top 5…


Helped on by a healthy 10 points from Yohan Cabaye and naming David Silva as captain, Rory Dillett’s Dillettinho & Sons landed a fantastic 57 points, closely followed by Graeme Elms’ RoseStreetPreachers – ably assisted by that man Yaya Touré – with 54.

Well done to everyone who had a good week with their team, especially our own Iain Todd in 5th with Abcde FC and Daniel Downie whose Happy Birthday Yaya are in 7th. If you want to know how the rest of the team is doing, make sure you go and check out the full league standings on the site.

I’ll be back with another update next week where I will be firmly rooted to the bottom of the league, Teddy will finally join the league, and I’ll be regretting ever suggesting that we have a prize for the best name.

Michael Park
According to Vanity Fair, Michael Park is "The Internet's Most Thoughtful Hipster".

He is the editor of this fine site and a regular on the Scottish Comedy FC Podcast despite refusing to go anywhere near Owen's house.

He supports Kilmarnock and is a comedian to no-one but himself.


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