‘Dear SCFC’ is Football’s first and only Agony Uncle! We’re not one of those creepy uncles who you only see at Christmas, stinking of booze, staggering around the dance floor before making a pass at your wife. No: ‘Dear SCFC’ is the awesome uncle who gives you money for your birthday, gets you into the football for free and buys you a cheeky beer when your parents aren’t looking.
Each week we will do our best to help those who can’t help themselves. If you have a problem (real or completely made up), send it to us using the form at the bottom of the article.
Dear Scottish Comedy FC,
“Darlin’ you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?”
Wee Gordon Str
ummerachan
A wise man once said:
“When organising a friendly make sure it’s against a diddy team. When you’re sacked the papers print your overall record. Easy wins make your managerial reign look much better!”
That wise man was Craig Brown – the last man to lead Scotland to a major championship. He and Walter Smith, the only manager to have won the Kirin Cup, knew the importance of a diddy game. And after all, the Kirin Cup is a more prestigious trophy than the World Cup! Anyone can win the World Cup but teams have to be invited to play the Kirin Cup. How many Kirin Cups have Brazil won? None! So, 1-0 to Scotland.
Your record is better than Craig Brown’s (48% to 45%) but you’ve made one error. When you play diddy teams, you lose! Just look at the games against Georgia and England.
So give it one more try and this time beat the diddys!
Dear SCFC,
Sacre Bleu! How will we cope with huge influx of Fans from across the United Kingdom?
The French Authorities
Have you thought about getting them all to wear hats? The English can wear a bowler hat, the Welsh can wear a cockle bonnet and Northern Irish fans can wear gimp masks since they’ll be their group’s whipping boys. It will quite literally be an immigration cap.
Dear SCFC,
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman walk into a French bar and the Scotsman says…?
Rest of UK
GTF!! That’s enough answers for one week!
‘Dear SCFC’ is willing to offer advice to any fans so if you have a problem, your manager’s giving you jip, your star striker is more concerned with Dutch pancakes than Cruyff turns or you just want someone to listen to you, email us using the form below.
[contact-form to=’scottishcomedyfc@gmail.com’ subject=’Dear SCFC, Please Help Me’][contact-field label=’Name’ type=’name’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Comment’ type=’textarea’ required=’1’/][/contact-form]
