‘Dear SCFC’ is Football’s first and only Agony Uncle! We’re not one of those creepy uncles who you only see at Christmas, stinking of booze, staggering around the dance floor before making a pass at your wife. No: ‘Dear SCFC’ is the awesome uncle who gives you money for your birthday, gets you into the football for free and buys you a cheeky beer when your parents aren’t looking.
Each week we will do our best to help those who can’t help themselves. If you have a problem (real or completely made up), send it to us using the form at the bottom of the article.
Dear SCFC,
We sacked our manager after some poor results. In his place we’ve hired an ex central defender with great hair and macho stubble. He’s not from this country and his last job ended with his team flirting with relegation. Also, English isn’t his strongest language but he can get by with it.
Will Steven Pressley be a success?
“Fleetwood Town Fan”
Congratulations. You have hired the Scottish Klopp. His name is very similar. Lots of people call him Krapp.
Is it just me or are they one and the same person? Like a footballing Superman/Clark Kent ?
Dear SCFC,
Jurgen Klopp and Steven Pressley have turned us down!
Who will we turn to now?
“Sunderland Board”
I’m not a psychologist but there seems to be a theme in your managerial appointments. Is there something you want to share with the group?
You hired Dick Advocaat. You loved Dick. You loved watching men together. Fit athletic men. There was only one problem – his wife. She resented your “closeness.” Dick promised he would stop seeing you but he couldn’t resist your calls.
Like all great love stories this was always going to end in tears.
Remember the other time you handled a Dick. It didn’t work out with Di Canio either.
So my suggestion is don’t hire Martin Jol’s Brothers. They are known as Dick and Cock! Martin didn’t see the funny side of this and once told a journalist. “What’s so funny about this? Dicks are everywhere in the Netherlands!”
Dear SCFC
Where the F&*k is Fleetwood anyway?
“The Scottish Klopp”
The town of Fleetwood lives in the shadow of its brasher, gaudier near neighbour Blackpool. If Blackpool is about pleasure then Fleetwood is about pain. The 104-year history of Fleetwood Town has seen the club fold twice and change their name three times.
Fleetwood is known as a tricky away fixture, not in a football sense, but due to the lack of travel option to the town. The train stopped running there four decades ago and the passenger ferry stopped in 2010. Fans of the club sing a song that goes: “One way in, one way out” as the route into the town is just one road from the M6.
‘Dear SCFC’ is willing to offer advice to any fans so if you have a problem, your manager’s giving you jip, your star striker is more concerned with Dutch pancakes than Cruyff turns or you just want someone to listen to you, email us using the form below.
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